“‘Miss Tadpoddle,’ said I, ‘you must, by all means, take another dose of medicine; the color of your skin is not as good as it should be, and I don’t like the looks of your tongue.’ “If I could have induced her to take another dose of my drugs then, she would have remembered it to her dying day. “‘No, no, doctor, please hush talking about your hateful drugs and let me go on with my story. It makes one feel so nervous to have to wait and wait for anything which ought to be told without stopping. There is Miss Clattermouth--oh, it would do you good to hear her relate a story. She can talk all day and never make a hobble. You ought to hear her deliver one of her lectures on the rights of women. She is our champion on that question, and you must not fail to hear her lecture next time. She is the business manager of our Tramp Reform Association, and is one of our best financial agents. You ought to join our Tramp Reform Association, doctor. We have achieved wonders in that society. We have reformed as many as a dozen tramps during the last year.’ “‘In what way did you reform them, Miss Tadpoddle?’ I inquired. “‘Oh, we furnish them board and lodgings for a month, by way of trial, and give them a good suit of clothes. Miss Clattermouth lectures them twice a week, and I give them Bible lessons three times a week. If, at the end of a month, one shows evidences of repentance and reformation, we then furnish him with another suit of clothes, a Testament, five dollars in cash and a certificate of good behavior, and discharge him with our blessing.’ “‘If he doesn’t furnish the necessary evidence at the end of the first month, what course do you pursue then?’ “‘We keep him another month, and if he proves incorrigible, we dismiss him without our certificate or blessing.’ “‘The punishment, I must say, Miss Tadpoddle, is indeed very severe. What is to be the fate of the poor tramp who is thus turned loose on the cold charities of the world with no certificate and without your blessing? May I inquire what percentage prove incorrigible and are driven out without the certificate and blessing?’ “‘I should say about ninety per cent. It is a source of regret to know that so many prove unworthy, yet it is a consolation to us to save as much as ten per cent. of the unfortunate class.’ “‘If I understand you correctly, any one can secure two months’ board and lodging by representing himself as a tramp.’