"Live, my own dearest, live," murmured Dinah, as she knelt beside
Clive's couch, listening to his never-ending mutterings, as the fever
ran its course, and mingled with the incessant babblings about the mine,
his brother's trickery and deceit, she heard him burst into torrents of
reproaches against him who was slandering his character. Then would
come appeals and declarations of his innocency, and Dinah's tears fell
softly as he rambled on about Lyddy.
"Shame on you, Janet!" he would cry. "How could you think it of me?
That I came telling you of my love fresh from the embraces of that weak
creature. Poor Lyddy! A cruel betrayal of a weak, easily flattered
girl. I swear it was all false. To save himself. Yes: false as hell!
But I pity you, dear. You are my sister now; and I pity you."
He would calm down for a while, and then begin again, mingling his
troubles in so confused a fashion, that Dinah would grow puzzled. But
she could not tear herself away, and listened eagerly as the sick man
rambled on, and laid bare the whole of his troubled life.
Then she would writhe in her agony, as from out of the tangle her own
name would come, and he grew excited as he wandered on, going back to
hearing her sobbing in the next room, the shots pattering on the window,
and on and on to the surprise in the tunnelled pathway.
"All, all the same. So gentle and loving, but all so weak. Poor little
sweet: so beautiful. Her words would ring like music, and yet she could
throw herself into his arms. Forgive her? Yes, I must forgive her. So
weak, so hard to trust."
And then, sobbing gently, Dinah would bend over, and lay her cheek
against his aching forehead, and whisper to him to believe in her. That
there was nothing to forgive--that she was his own, and that he must
live to learn the truth or she would die.
But her tender appeals were to one who could not understand. Still they
were a solace to her, as she hung about his bed. She had him with her,
the man who loved her so tenderly, and in those secret moments, when
they were alone, often enough in the silent watches of the night, she
could fall into an ecstasy of joy, as in the abandonment of her love,
with none to know, she could draw the dear head upon her throbbing
breast, and cover his face with her kisses.
"My own, my loving husband!" she would coo softly in the midst of her
caresses, at first with burning cheeks, later on with her pulses
undisturbed, her heart suffused by a sweet placid joy which made her
beam upon him as a mother over her babe.
"Some day he will know all, and I can wait till then," she sighed, as
even in the midst of her agony of doubt as to his recovery, she revelled
in the joy of having him there insensible, ignorant of her caresses, but
still all her own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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