Christian life -- Fiction; Conduct of life -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"Oh, I can't, ma'am! I wish I could. But, oh, ma'am, I should have liked
her--I might have liked her if she had been kind, but she never has.
Even that first night I came she never kissed me, nor said she was glad
to see me."
"That was failing in kindness certainly, but is she _un_kind to you,
Ellen?"
"Oh yes, ma'am, indeed she is. She talks to me, and talks to me, in a
way that almost drives me out of my wits; and to-day she even struck me!
She has no right to do it," said Ellen, firing with passion, "she has no
_right_ to!--and she has no right to talk as she does about mamma. She
did it to-day, and she has done it before. I can't bear it! and I can't
bear _her_! I can't _bear_ her!"
"Hush, hush," said Alice, drawing the excited child to her arms, for
Ellen had risen from her seat, "you must not talk so, Ellen; you are not
feeling right now."
"No, ma'am, I am not," said Ellen coldly and sadly. She sat a moment,
and then turning to her companion put both arms round her neck, and hid
her face on her shoulder again; and without raising it she gave her the
history of the morning.
"What has brought about this dreadful state of things?" said Alice after
a few minutes. "Whose fault is it, Ellen?"
"I think it is Aunt Fortune's fault," said Ellen, raising her head; "I
don't think it is mine. If she had behaved well to me I should have
behaved well to her. I meant to, I am sure."
"Do you mean to say that you do not think you have been in fault at all
in the matter?"
"No, ma'am, I do not mean to say that. I have been very much in
fault--very often--I know that. I get very angry and vexed, and
sometimes I say nothing, but sometimes I get out of all patience and say
things I ought not. I did so to-day; but it is so very hard to keep
still when I am in such a passion, and now I have got to feel so towards
Aunt Fortune that I don't like the sight of her; I hate the very look of
her bonnet hanging up on the wall. I know it isn't right; and it makes
me miserable; and I can't help it, for I grow worse and worse every day;
and what shall I do?"
Ellen's tears came faster than her words.
"Ellen, my child," said Alice after a while, "there is but one way. You
know what I said to you yesterday?"
"I know it, but, dear Miss Alice, in my reading this morning I came to
that verse that speaks about not being forgiven if we do not forgive
others; and oh! how it troubles me; for I can't feel that I forgive Aunt
Fortune; I feel vexed whenever the thought of her comes into my head;
and how can I behave right to her while I feel so?"
"You are right there, my dear; you cannot indeed; the heart must be set
right before the life can be."
"But what shall I do to set it right?"
"Pray."
"Dear Miss Alice, I have been praying all this morning that I might
forgive Aunt Fortune; and yet I cannot do it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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