Christian life -- Fiction; Conduct of life -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
They were eagerly stowed away; and then kneeling by the side of the
trunk, with loving hands, Ellen opened her desk. A sheet of paper was
drawn from her store, and properly placed before her; the pen dipped in
the ink, and at first with a hurried, then with a trembling hand she
wrote, "My dear Mamma." But Ellen's heart had been swelling and
swelling, with every letter of those three words, and scarcely was the
last "a" finished, when the pen was dashed down, and flinging away from
the desk, she threw herself on the floor in a passion of grief. It
seemed as if she had her mother again in her arms, and was clinging with
a death-grasp not to be parted from her. And then the feeling that she
was parted! As much bitter sorrow as a little heart can know was in poor
Ellen's now. In her childish despair she wished she could die, and
almost thought she should. After a time, however, though not a short
time, she rose from the floor and went to her writing again; her heart a
little eased by weeping, yet the tears kept coming all the time, and she
could not quite keep her paper from being blotted. The first sheet was
spoiled before she was aware; she took another.
"MY DEAREST MAMMA,--It makes me so glad and so sorry to write to
you, that I don't know what to do. I want to see you so much, mamma,
that it seems to me sometimes as if my heart would break. Oh, mamma,
if I could just kiss you once more, I would give anything in the
whole world. I can't be happy as long as you are away, and I'm
afraid I can't be good either; but I will try. Oh, I will try,
mamma. I have so much to say to you that I don't know where to
begin. I am sure my paper will never hold it all. You will want to
know about my journey. The first day was on the steamboat, you know.
I should have had a dreadful time that day, mamma, but for something
I'll tell you about. I was sitting up on the upper deck, thinking
about you, and feeling very badly indeed, when a gentleman came and
spoke to me, and asked me what was the matter. Mamma, I can't tell
you how kind he was to me. He kept me with him the whole day. He
took me all over the boat, and showed me all about a great many
things, and he talked to me a great deal. Oh, mamma, how he talked
to me. He read in the Bible to me, and explained it, and he tried to
make me a Christian. And oh, mamma, when he was talking to me, how I
wanted to do as he said, and I resolved I would. I did, mamma, and
I've not forgotten it. I will try indeed, but I am afraid it will be
very hard without you or him, or anybody else to help me. You
couldn't have been kinder yourself, mamma; he kissed me at night
when I bid him good-bye, and I was very sorry indeed. I wish I could
see him again. Mamma, I will always love that gentleman, if I never
see him again in the world. I wish there was somebody here that I
could love, but there is not.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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