Yet this man before me declared most distinctly that I had lived them;
that I had enjoyed a second existence quite apart and distinct from my
own self. Incredible though it seemed, yet it became gradually
impressed upon me that what this man Gedge had told me was the actual,
hideous truth, and that I had really lived and moved and prospered
throughout those six unknown years, while my senses had at the same time
remained dormant, and I had thus been utterly unconscious of existence.
But could such a thing be? As a prosaic man of the world I argued, as
any one in his right mind would argue, that such a thing was beyond the
bounds of possibility. Nevertheless, be it how it might, the undisputed
fact remained that I had lapsed into unconsciousness on that winter's
night six years before, and had known absolutely nothing of my
surroundings until I found myself lying upon the floor of the
drawing-room of what was alleged to be my country house.
Six years out of a man's life is a large slice. The face of the world
changes considerably in that space of time. I found myself living a
life which was so artificial and incongruous to my own tastes as to
appear utterly unreal. Yet, as I made further inquiry of this man
Gedge, every moment that passed showed me plainly that what he had said
was the truth.
He related to me the routine of my daily life, and I stood listening
agape in wonder. He told me things of which I had no knowledge; of my
own private affairs, and of my business profits; he took big
leather-bound ledgers from the great green-painted safe, and showed me
formidable sums entered therein, relating, he explained, to the
transactions at the office up in London. Some documents he showed me,
large official-looking sheets with stamps and seals and signatures,
which he said were concessions obtained from a certain foreign
Government, and opened my private letter-book, exhibiting letters I had
actually written with my own hand, but without having any knowledge of
having done so.
These revelations took away my breath.
It could not be mere loss of memory from which I was suffering. I had
actually lived a second and entirely different life to that I had once
led in Essex Street. Apparently I had become a changed man, had entered
business, had amassed a fortune--and had married.
Assuredly, I reflected, I could never have been in my right senses to
have married that angular person with the powdered cheeks. That action,
in itself, was sufficient to convince me that my brain had been
unbalanced during those six lost years.
Alone, I stood, without a single sympathiser--without a friend.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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