The will to live (Les Roquevillard) : $b A novelBordeaux, Henry
General
The will to live (Les Roquevillard) : $b A novel
Bordeaux, Henry
Elopement -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
Only a few pedestrians were taking the air in the avenue. Some children
were playing in the woods, quite far from them. They were almost alone,
but even by the presence of these discreet witnesses she lost her
best argument in this crisis that she had so adroitly postponed until
to-day--the argument of her kisses. She had understood, she could not
fail to have understood, what was agitating her lover: so often had it
lain upon her own mind, too. It had for so long a time tormented both
of them; and at the expense of much effort, by many lies and refusals
to talk about the past--which counts for so little when one is in
love--she had succeeded in keeping it until now at a safe distance from
their happiness. At the back of her head, however, was the idea that by
this very thing she would chain him to her forever.
She was bravely straining her intelligence, like a bow, to drive her
arguments far forward; she wanted her explanation to be sincere and
loyal as well as decisive; and all the time he was repeating in a
strangled voice:
“Your dot? You had no dot?”
He showed a tone of command that he got from his father, and gave his
orders sharply:
“Speak. You must tell me now.”
She was surprised, dismayed, staring at him almost in terror. This big
young man of twenty-five, so sweet, so adorable, whom she had felt so
sure of, lo, how abruptly he became the master. Then she had not yet
explored all the corners of this heart that she had thought was hers.
Instinctively, to shield their love, she shifted her tactics, and
yielded up the least possible portion of the truth.
“My dot, Maurice? It truly belongs to me, my dot.”
“Where did it come from? It was not settled on you, then, by your
relatives? Oh, I can guess how it was. It was he, wasn’t it, who
settled it on you in your marriage contract? Answer me.”
She tried to hold out against him.
“Yes, it was he who gave it to me. And afterwards? It’s mine now.”
He was more upset than she was, but contained his anger on account of
the passersby, going on with his questioning of her, nevertheless.
“No, unfortunately, it isn’t yours. I am familiar with these contracts.
It was a settlement made in case of your surviving your husband. That’s
what it was. I’m sure of it. Try to remember now, and be careful.”
She stiffened with all her being at these menacing words from these
two dear lips, these set red lips. It was not a question any more now
for her of making an accomplice of her lover, of getting this supreme
gauge of love from him, only of saving that love. Her only weapons were
the caresses in her voice, and she knew he would yield to them; and,
besides, was it not the truth, what she was telling him?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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