The will to live (Les Roquevillard) : $b A novelBordeaux, Henry
General
The will to live (Les Roquevillard) : $b A novel
Bordeaux, Henry
Elopement -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
When he was safely out of reach he turned his course and hurried away
in the direction of the Tower of Buccione. It was a place he had
discovered once in his walks with Edith, behind the ruins of an old
fortress castle, a high square tower surrounded by panelled walls now
in ruins and overrun by climbing plants. It stood at the far end of the
Lake of Orta, on a hill covered with chestnut trees, and commanding a
wide view from south to north. You could see as far as Novare, that
shining city at the other end of the plain, and Monte Rosa, whose
distant summit and glaciers scintillating in the sun looked round on
all the other mountain levels. From no part roundabout was there a
wider view than from this deserted place. Often when his companion’s
fatigue left him with empty hours to fill Maurice would come here to
gaze toward home and sense his exile to the full.
He stayed there now a long time, letting his wounds rankle. Why should
he now in this hour be feeling only misery from his love, that passion
that should have been the crown of all his youth? Was there, then,
something besides love, something so considerable that even if it could
not destroy love it was strong enough to reduce it to a second place in
life and spoil its pleasures? Love was not all of life. It could not
even isolate itself, or detach itself from the rest of life. Of itself
it was only a disorganised and destructive force. On the other side of
those mountains that marked the horizon there his love had certainly
wrought disaster. Maurice was sure of that now.
Could he honestly say that only circumstances were to blame? No,
his past, when he summoned it back frankly, condemned only him. The
evidence showed that he himself had been guilty of lightness and
feebleness, culpable in having consented to go away with Edith at
all, when he could easily have foreseen that their resources would
not hold out; himself to blame for having accepted without proofs
the explanations which Edith made him, when it should have been easy
for him to see her inconsistencies; responsible for having yielded
to the influence of her caresses in the present without binding that
present to either past or future; responsible for having yielded to
her when she insisted upon a year of forgetfulness from him, a year of
happiness, a year of indolence and cowardice.
And it came to him distinctly that if it was a question of his honour,
there could be no salvation unless it reached him through his family.
Without his family, he knew that he was lost. He could not, perhaps
for a long time, make good that money of Edith’s which he had used and was
not willing to have lived on; but with his family, if he asked their
help, he might be saved. How could they refuse to save him? Were they
not all one with him in his shame? But if they were one with him in
shame, he had also duties toward them, and had neglected them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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