The will to live (Les Roquevillard) : $b A novelBordeaux, Henry
General
The will to live (Les Roquevillard) : $b A novel
Bordeaux, Henry
Elopement -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
_Your letter to mother was delivered to me. I opened it. I had been
waiting for it a long time. I thought surely it would come, or you
yourself. Mother told me it would. You could not have forgotten us for
good._
_I can see from reading it that you’ve heard nothing further about
us since you left, and I can explain your persistent silence better.
As for you, you know now that mother is no longer with us. To have
to tell you about it brings back all my suffering again, and yet I don’t
want not to suffer, for it brings me nearer to her. Weep with me, my
poor brother, shed many tears for all the times you have not wept. But
don’t give up and despair of things, for she did not wish it._
_She left us the fourth of last April, nearly seven months ago. All
winter her strength had been growing less, slowly and gently. She did
not suffer; at least, she did not complain. And she never ceased from
prayer. One evening, without anything to give further warning of such
a sudden end, she passed on, praying. Father and I were with her.
She looked at us, tried to smile, and murmured a name which we both
caught, and which was yours. And then her head fell backward. That was
all._
_A few days earlier she had talked to me about you, as if she were
explaining her last wishes to me. I realised it later. She spoke as
usual, so simply. She said to me: “Maurice will come back. He is more
unfortunate than guilty. He doesn’t know yet, and he’ll hear of it. He
will need all his courage. You must promise me, when he comes back,
to receive him, to reconcile him with his father, with his family, to
defend him, indeed never to abandon him whatever happens.” There was
no need of promising, but I promised. And so, when your letter came, I
did not hesitate to open it. I am taking mother’s place, very badly,
but with all my heart._
_And you ought to know this: that mamma did not believe
you guilty. Neither did I. And father did not, I am sure
of it. Yet he told us that weakness was a form of being guilty; and
that a young man, whose family had taken care of him through all his
early years and up to manhood, is not free to do anything that brings
havoc on all his race. Now he doesn’t talk about you, ever. I suspect
that he thinks about you often, and that it gives him great pain.
Be considerate of him, Maurice, as well as of our mother, who is at
rest. He has changed, very much. He had so much youth in his gait, his
expression, his voice, and he grew old in a few days. He works without
any rest. He forgets his misfortunes in his work. But I promised not
to reproach you with anything. Nevertheless, you ought surely to be
told what has become of us all, not having had any news of us for more
than a year. He is so well thought of that not one of his clients has
withdrawn his confidence from him._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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