"Cheer up, Alan!" he said. "It was good of you to warn me; but I _must_ use my own judgment in this matter—and I take full responsibility for doing so." He rose, and knocked out his pipe. "Now, I suppose I must have an officers’ meeting, and let old Kilbride read to them the Brigadier’s impression of how this picnic is to be conducted. They are a very earnest band. They will take it all down—they’d take down the multiplication table if you recited it to them—and read it to their N.C.O.’s; and the N.C.O.’s will misquote it to the men; and to-morrow I shall see my battalion, guide-book in hand, methodically advancing to victory, chanting elegant extracts from Orders, to encourage themselves and frighten the Germans! It’s a mad war, this! Now, where is the orderly sergeant?" "Sit down a minute," I said, "and listen to me." I was imperilling the foundations of an ancient friendship, but I could not leave matters like this. Eric dropped impatiently into his chair. "Well, what about it?" he asked. "Eric, old man," I began, "I was at Loos—the only show which we have put up in any way comparable with to-morrow’s unpleasantness—and you were not; so I am going to improve the occasion. The great ones above us are quite rightly trying to fight this battle on the basis of the lessons taught us by Loos—and they were pretty considerable lessons. May I give you the experience of your own battalion?" "Go ahead!" said Eric, resignedly filling his pipe again. "We went off like a bull at a gate, and bundled the Boche out of his front and second lines in a few hours. I am only giving you our own experience, mind you. Other people weren’t so well placed, and got practically wiped out crossing No Man’s Land. On the other hand, a Division farther along on our right went slap through everything, up Hill Seventy and down the other side. (They say a platoon of Camerons penetrated right into Lens. Of course they never came out again.) Anyhow, by noon on the first day we were cock-a-hoop enough, right up in the air on perfectly open ground behind the Boche reserve line, without the foggiest notion where Brigade Headquarters was, where the next unit was—as a matter of fact, the people on our immediate left were farther ahead still, while the people on our right hadn’t got up, and never did—where our artillery was, where our next meal was to come from, and what we were going to do now! We did all we could, which wasn’t much. We tried to reverse the captured trenches, without tools. The Sappers turned up, as Sappers invariably do, just when they were wanted most, and performed marvels in the way of improvising defences; but we were still in a pretty precarious position. For the next twenty-four hours nothing in particular happened. Then the Boche, who had been regularly on the run, rallied, and came stealing back. He found our victorious line echeloned in the most ridiculous fashion all over the place,