Farm life -- Fiction; Farmers' spouses -- Fiction; Kansas -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
The mortgage was signed. The fine weather had brought many people to
Colebyville. Elizabeth had not been in town for a year, and the sight of
pleasant, happy folk greeting each other cordially and wandering from
store to store bartering eggs and butter for groceries and family
necessities, and exchanging ideas and small talk about their purchases,
had accentuated her isolation. Those people who knew her spoke to her
also, but with an air of suspicion and reserve. A puzzling feature of the
day had been that John had received a more cordial reception than she had.
The main suspicion had been directed against her. There seemed to be a
certain acceptance of John's "stuck-upness." He had some reason for his
attitude toward them which they were inclined to accept, but Elizabeth saw
that to this community she was a "beggar on horseback." Instead of seeing
that the man who had thrust her into this false relation was utterly
inadequate to realize it, or that if he realized it he was utterly
indifferent to her sufferings in it, she inquired into her own failure to
get his attention, and felt that he was after all a better husband than
any she had ever known, with few exceptions. John had managed to add to
her confusion where he was concerned that day by being floridly insistent
upon her spending a generous sum upon her purchases and taking as much
interest in what she bought as a woman. There had been so much to buy that
Elizabeth's economical soul had been torn by the desire to cut down the
expense. The baby was ready for short clothes and there had been materials
for little dresses, stockings, little shoes, a hood and cloak, to get for
him alone, and Elizabeth saw in every dollar spent a dollar lost at
interest-paying time. John had been happy and genial on the way home and
had altogether treated her so much better than her mood had permitted her
to treat him that there was a bit of self-accusation in her meditations.
Everything had gone wrong. The waters of human affection ran everywhere in
the wrong direction. She desired understanding between herself and her
husband; her attitude toward the community in which they lived had been
one of friendliness, her attitude toward Aunt Susan and Luther one of
whole-hearted love, her attitude toward this family of which she found
herself a part that of a devoted slave, yet nowhere had she been able to
make proper alliances. Some curious defeating element had crept into every
relation life offered her. While the rest ate supper that night,
Elizabeth, who had no appetite and was too sick with a sense of failure to
eat, nursed her baby and meditated upon the indications of the day's
occurrences. Forgetting her surroundings, she drew in a fluttering,
sobbing breath. Jake Ransom, across the corner of the table, caught the
sound of that sob and flashed a quick glance in her direction. His eyes
were as quickly withdrawn, but Elizabeth knew without looking up that he
had heard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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