Farm life -- Fiction; Farmers' spouses -- Fiction; Kansas -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
"I--I went out with Luther, Hugh, and I didn't realize that I was gone so
long. You've missed two doses!" She noticed that Hugh called her by her
given name altogether now.
Hugh laughed a sad little laugh.
"Well, I've had the one for this hour at least. I--I tried to take it
alone. I guess I won't try that again. It stuck in my throat and I got a
strangling spell. I coughed till--well, I thought I was going to get out
of taking medicine altogether. It's a terrible fear that grips a fellow
when he gets something stuck in his throat and knows that he can't lift
his head off his pillow. It isn't so much that he's afraid to die--it's
the death struggle he's afraid of."
Absorbed in his own thoughts, Hugh Noland closed his eyes and did not see
the effect his words produced upon Elizabeth. By some sort of
psychological process he had placed that death struggle before her very
eyes. Hugh, all unconscious that he had made any impression, unconscious
that her attitude toward death differed from his own, or that his death
could mean much more to her than deliverance from the presence and care of
him, lay with his eyes closed, thinking his own bitter thoughts.
There was indeed enough in Hugh Noland's appearance to terrify the girl as
he lay before her, wasted and woebegone, his low forehead blue-veined and
colourless, his hands blue-veined and transparent, and all his shrunken
figure sharply outlined under the thin summer covering of the bed with
ghastly and suggestive significance. Instantly she wanted to go down by
his side and with her arms about him give him the sympathy and comfort his
lonely heart craved, but because it was so deliciously tempting she
distrusted the impulse and, turning hastily, walked out of the room and
out of the house, going on a run to her refuge in the willows. But though
she agonized till dark she found herself no nearer a solution than
before.
Hugh felt the distance Elizabeth maintained and also the fact that she was
not well. How he hated it when she had to lift him for his medicine.
Doctor Morgan had especially talked about her lifting when she was at
first convalescing. His heart was very bad that night.
About three o'clock the next afternoon Elizabeth tiptoed in to see if he
slept.
"I'm awake," he said without opening his eyes.
Always when Hugh did not open his eyes Elizabeth was filled with
premonitions. He was very pinched and wan to-day. With a pain at her own
heart, Elizabeth brought a fresh glass of water for his medicine. She had
to speak to him to get him ready to take it from her hand. Kneeling, she
put her arm under the pillow to raise his head while he drank.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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