"I'm not a weak woman," she began, staring at the naked candle-flame
which gave light to the tent. "It wasn't weakness that impelled me to
marry a man I didn't love; it was the determination to get ahead and
the ambition to make something worth while out of myself--a form of
selfishness, perhaps, but I tell you all women are selfish. Anyhow, he
seemed to promise better things and to open a way whereby I could make
something out of my life. Instead of that he opened my eyes and showed
me the world as it is, not as I had imagined it to be. He was--no good.
You may think I was unhappy over that, but I wasn't. Really, he didn't
mean much to me. What did grieve me, though, was the death of my
illusions. He was mercenary--the fault of his training, I dare say--but
he had that man-call I spoke about. It's really a woman-call. He was
weak, worthless, full of faults, mean in small things, but he had an
attraction and it was impossible to resist mothering him. Other women
felt it and yielded to it, so finally we went our separate ways. I've
seen nothing of him for some time now, but he keeps in touch with me
and--I've sent him a good deal of money. When he learns that I have
prospered in a big way he'll undoubtedly turn up again."
Pierce weighed the significance of these words; then he smiled. "Dear,
it's all the more reason why we should be married at once. I'd dare him
to annoy you then."
"My boy, don't you understand? I can't marry you, being still married
to him."
Phillips recoiled; his face whitened. Dismay, reproach, a shocked
surprise were in the look he turned upon his companion.
"Still married!" he gasped. "Oh--Hilda!"
She nodded and lowered her eyes. "I supposed you knew--until I got to
telling you, and then it was too late."
Pierce rose; his lips now were as colorless as his cheeks. "I'm
surprised, hurt," he managed to say. "How should I know? Why, this is
wretched--rotten! People will say that I've got in a mess with a
married woman. That's what it looks like, too." His voice broke
huskily. "How could you do it, when I meant my love to be clean,
honorable? How could you let me put myself, and you, in such a
position?"
"You see!" The woman continued to avoid his eye. "You haven't grown up.
You haven't the least understanding."
"I understand this much," he cried, hotly, "that you've led me to make
something worse than a cad of myself. Look here! There are certain
things which no decent fellow goes in for--certain things he despises
in other men--and that's one of them." He turned as if to leave, then
he halted at the tent door and battled with himself. After a moment,
during which the Countess Courteau watched him fixedly, he whirled,
crying:
"Well, the damage is done. I love you. I can't go along without you.
Divorce that man. I'll wait."
"I'm not sure I have legal grounds for a divorce. I'm not sure that I
care to put the matter to a test--as yet."
"WHAT?" Pierce gazed at her, trying to understand. "Say that over
again!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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