The Wise and Ingenious Companion, French and English;: or, A Collection of the Wit of the Illustrious Persons, Both Ancient and ModernBoyer, Abel
General
The Wise and Ingenious Companion, French and English;: or, A Collection of the Wit of the Illustrious Persons, Both Ancient and Modern
Boyer, Abel
Anecdotes; Wit and humor
_Irene_ repairs with great cost and charge to _Epidaurus_, visits
_Æsculapius_ in his Temple, and consults with him about all her
Ailments. First of all she complains, _That she is weary, and spent
with Fatigue_: And the God declares, _This is befallen her by the
length of her Journey_. She says, _She has no Stomach at Night_;
the Oracle prescribes her, _To eat but little at Dinner_. She asks
him, _What makes her so heavy, and what Remedy for it?_ The Oracle
answers, _She must rise early in the Morning, and use Exercise_.
She tells him, _That Wine is hurtful to her_; so the Oracle bids
her, _To drink Water. That she cannot digest what she eats_, and
he adds, _she must keep a strict Diet_. _My Sight decays_, says
Irene; _use then Spectacles_, says _Æsculapius_. _I grow weak_,
says she farther, _neither am I so healthful as I have been_; _the
reason of it_, says the God, _is because you grow old_. _But which
way shall I recover my self?_ _The best way_, Irene, _is to dye,
as did your Mother and Grandmother._ _Is this_, answered _Irene_,
_all that Wisdom which Mankind proclaims, and which makes you to be
reverenced by all the World? What a rare Mystery you learn me? Did
I not know before all those Remedies you prescribe?_ _Why then did
not you use them_, answers the God, _Without coming so far to me,
and shortning your Days by so long a Journey?_
191
_Irene_ se transporte à grands frais en _Epidaure_, void _Esculape_
dans son Temple, & le consulte sur tous ses maux. D’abord elle
se plaint, _Qu’elle est lasse, & recreuë de fatigue_; & le
Dieu prononce, _que cela lui arrive par la longueur du Chemin
qu’elle vient de faire_. Elle dit, _qu’elle est le soir sans
appetit_. L’Oracle lui ordonne, _de diner peu_. Elle lui demande,
_pourquoy elle devient pesante, & quel remede?_ L’Oracle repond,
_qu’elle doit se lever de bon matin & prendre de l’exercice_.
Elle lui declare, _que le Vin lui est nuisible_; & l’Oracle luî
dit, _de boire de l’eau_. _Qu’elle a des indigestions_, & il
ajoûte, _qu’elle fasse Diete. Ma veuë s’affoiblit_, dit _Irene_,
_Prenez donc des Lunettes_, dit _Esculape_. _Je deviens foible_,
_continuë-t-elle_, _& je ne suis plus si saine que j’ai été_.
_C’est_, dit le Dieu, _que vous vieillissez_. _Mais quel moyen
de guerir de cette Langueur?_ _Le plus court_, Irene, _C’est de
mourir, comme ont fait vôtre mere, & vôtre ayeule._ _Est ce-là_,
repondit _Irene_, _toute cette Science que les hommes publient, &
qui vous fait reverer de toute la Terre? que m’apprenez vous de
rare & de mysterieux? & ne savois-je pas tous ces remedes que vous
m’enseignez?_ _Que n’en usiez vous donc_, repondit le Dieu, _sans
venir me chercher de si loin, & abbreger vos jours par un si long
voyage?_
The _Ephesian_ Matron.
192
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