"Oh, how he stood before me, timidly stammering forth word by word. How shyly and imploringly his eye sought mine, and yet how he hardly dared to raise his glance from the ground. How, in his awkwardness, he twisted the ends of his beard round his fingers, and stamped his foot when he could not find the right word! Oh, my poor dear, big child, did you not see how my every limb was trembling with the desire to rush towards you and hold you tight for all eternity, did you not see how my lips were twitching with the temptation to press themselves upon yours, and to hang there till their last breath? "Did you not see all this? "Did you really believe the words, which half unconsciously I spoke to you? My heart knows nothing of them, that I swear to you. I have loved you ever since I can remember. I know that my last breath will utter your name. "And shame on you, if you really had faith in my pretexts! I leave you for a rich girl! You, for whom I would gladly beg in the streets, for whom I would work till my eyes grew dim and my fingers sore, if you needed it! "Do you remember that night in our parents' house, when you were wooing Martha? Do you remember it and dare to insult me by putting faith in my miserable excuses? "And when at parting I gave you my hand, why did you look into my eyes so sadly and humbly? Did you not know that now that look will haunt me day and night like the reproach of some heavy crime I have committed towards you? "No, my friend, you are the only one on earth who have nothing to reproach me with. Towards you I have acted honestly--and most honestly to-day, even though you were never so unutterably deceived as to-day! If only I might tell you how much I love you! How gladly would I die in that self-same hour. Only once to lie upon your breast--only once to hide my head upon your shoulder and weep, weep--weep blood and tears! "You must never again look at me like that, my giant, as if I had had a right to despise you, as if you were too simple and not good enough for me. I do not know what I might not do in that case! Heaven protect you from me and my love! * * * * * "_A week later_. "And now I have done it _after all_! I have thrown myself upon his neck; I have satiated myself with his kisses; I have wept my fill in his arms! "I am calm--quite calm. I have tasted whatever of happiness life had left to offer me, the sinner. "But what now? "Since hours I have been face to face with the last great question: 'Shall I flee or die?' "One or the other I must do this very night; for to-morrow he will come to lead me to Martha's grave. "Rather than follow him thither, I will die!