HOSTESS--No such thing, Maria. You look all right. Plain black is always very genteel. Nothing I like so well for evening, myself. Just keep your face to the wall as much as you can, and the worn places will never show. You can take my ecru lace scarf, if you wish, and that will cover most of the spots. I don't mean my new scarf--the one I got two years ago. It's a little torn, but it won't matter--for you. I think you will find it on the top shelf of the store-room closet on the third floor. If you put a chair on one of the trunks, you can easily reach it. Just wait a minute, till I get these gloves on; I want you to button them. I do hope I haven't forgotten anything. Baron von Gosheimer has promised to come. I have told everybody. It would be terrible if he should disappoint me. MASCULINE VOICE FROM ABOVE--Sarah, where the devil have you put my shirts? Everything is upside down in my room, and I can't find them. I pulled every blessed thing out of the chiffonier and wardrobe, and they're not there! HOSTESS--Oh, Henry! You _must_ hurry--I'm going to use your room for the gentlemen's dressing-room, and it's time now for people to come. You _must_ hurry. HOST (_from above, just as front door opens, admitting_ Baron von Gosheimer _and two women guests_)--Where the devil are my shirts? HOSTESS (_unconscious of arrivals_)--Under the bed in my room. Hurry! (HOST, _in bath gown and slippers, dashes madly into wife's room, and dives under bed as women guests enter. Unable to escape, he crawls farther beneath bed. His feet remain visible. Women guests discover them._) GUESTS (_in chorus_)--Burglars! burglars! Help! help! (Baron von Gosheimer, _ascending to the next floor, hears them and hastens to the rescue._) BARON--Don't be alarmed, ladies. Has either of you a poker? No? That is to be deplored. (_Catches_ Host _by heels and drags him out. Tableau._) HOSTESS (to Poor Relative, _giving an extra tug at her gloves_)--There, it's all burst out on the side! That stupid saleslady said she knew they would be too small. Oh, dear, I'm that upset! And these Louis Quinze slippers are just murdering me. I wish it were all over. (_Enter_ Baron von Gosheimer _and women guests._) HOSTESS--Dear baron, how good of you! I was just saying, if you didn't come I should wish my musicale in Jericho. And, now that you are here, I don't care if any one else comes or not. (_To women guests._) How d'ye do? I must apologize for Mr. Smythe--he's been detained down-town. He just telephoned me. He'll be in later. Do sit down; it's just as cheap as standing, I always say, and it does save your feet. You ladies can find seats over in the corner. (_Detaining_ Baron.) Dear baron--(_Enter guests._) GUEST--So glad you have a clear evening. Now, when _we_ gave _our_ affair, it _poured_. Of course, _we_ had a crowd, just the same. People _always_ come to _us_, whether it rains or not. (_Takes a seat. Guests begin to arrive in numbers._) HOSTESS--So sweet of you to come!