American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Seated around her were various members of that rising race with which a
Southern household abounds, engaged in shelling peas, peeling potatoes,
picking pin-feathers out of fowls, and other preparatory arrangements,
Dinah every once in a while interrupting her meditations to give a poke,
or a rap on the head, to some of the young operators, with the
pudding-stick that lay by her side. In fact, Dinah ruled over the woolly
heads of the younger members with a rod of iron, and seemed to consider
them born for no earthly purpose but to "save her steps," as she phrased
it. It was the spirit of the system under which she had grown up, and
she carried it out to its full extent.
Miss Ophelia, after passing on her reformatory tour through all the
other parts of the establishment, now entered the kitchen. Dinah had
heard, from various sources, what was going on, and resolved to stand on
defensive and conservative ground,--mentally determined to oppose and
ignore every new measure, without any actual and observable contest.
The kitchen was a large, brick-floored apartment, with a great
old-fashioned fireplace stretching along one side of it,--an arrangement
which St. Clair had vainly tried to persuade Dinah to exchange for the
convenience of a modern cook-stove. Not she. No Pusseyite, or
conservative of any school, was ever more inflexibly attached to
time-honored inconveniences than Dinah.
When St. Clair had first returned from the North, impressed with the
system and order of his uncle's kitchen arrangements, he had largely
provided his own with an array of cupboards, drawers, and various
apparatus, to induce systematic regulation, under the sanguine illusion
that it would be of any possible assistance to Dinah in her
arrangements. He might as well have provided them for a squirrel or a
magpie. The more drawers and closets there were, the more hiding-holes
could Dinah make for the accommodation of old rags, hair-combs, old
shoes, ribbons, cast-off artificial flowers, and other articles of
_vertu_, wherein her soul delighted.
When Miss Ophelia entered the kitchen, Dinah did not rise, but smoked on
in sublime tranquillity, regarding her movements obliquely out of the
corner of her eye, but apparently intent only on the operations around
her.
Miss Ophelia commenced opening a set of drawers.
"What is this drawer for, Dinah?" she said.
"It's handy for 'most anything, missis," said Dinah. So it appeared to
be. From the variety it contained Miss Ophelia pulled out first a fine
damask table-cloth stained with blood, having evidently been used to
envelop some raw meat.
"What's this, Dinah? You don't wrap up meat in your mistress's best
table-cloth?"
"Oh, Lor', missis, no; the towels was all a-missin', so I just did it. I
laid it out to wash that ar; that's why I put it thar."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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