American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
They soon returned, Chloe bearing a variety of garments, for mamma had
taken the important _premier pas_. The pantaloons were first produced.
The peddler took them in his hand, which flew up like an empty scale, to
show how light they were; he held them up to the sun, and a half
contemptuous smile crossed his lips; then shaking his head, he threw
them down beside his basket. A drab overcoat was next inspected, and was
also thrown aside with a doubtful expression.
"Mr. Peddler," said mamma, in a very soft tone, "you must allow me a
fair price; these are very excellent articles."
"Oh, ver fair," said he, "but te closhes ish not ver goot; te
closhesman is not going to give me noting for dish," and he laid a
waistcoat on the other two articles.
Mamma and Chloe had by this time reached the depths of the basket, and,
with sympathetic exclamations, arranged several articles on the slab.
"You will let me have these pitchers," said mamma, with a look of
concentrated resolution, "for that very nice pair of pantaloons."
The peddler gave a short whistle expressive of contempt, shook his head,
and said, "Tish not possibles. I will give two pishers and von prush for
te pantaloon and waistcoat."
Mamma and Chloe glanced at each other and at me; I was absorbed in my
own bargains, and said, carelessly, that the pitchers were perfect
beauties. Chloe pushed one pitcher a little forward, mamma pushed the
other on a parallel line, then poised a decanter, and again applied her
delicate knuckles for the test. That, too, rang out the musical,
unbroken sound, so dear to the housewife's ear, and, with a pair of
plated candlesticks, was deposited on the table. The peddler took up the
drab overcoat.
"Te closhesman's give noting for dish."
Mamma looked disconcerted. The expression of her face implied the fear
that the peddler would not even accept it as a gift. Chloe and she held
a whispering consultation. At this moment Binah came in with little
Patsey, who, seeing the articles on the slab, pointed with her dimpled
fingers, and said her only words,
"Pretty! pretty!"
At the same moment, Lafayette and Venus, the two little novices in
furniture-rubbing, exclaimed,
"Ki! if dem ting an't shine too much!"
These opinions made the turning-point in mamma's mind, though coming
from such insignificant sources.
"So they are pretty, my darling," said mamma to Patsey; and then,
turning to the peddler, she asked him what he would give in exchange for
the pantaloons, the waistcoat and the coat.
The peddler set aside two decanters, one pitcher, the plated
candlesticks, and a hearth-brush.
"Tish ver goot pargains for te lady," said he.
Mamma gained courage.
"I can not think of letting you have all these things without something
more. You must at least throw in that little tray," and she looked at a
small scarlet one, worth perhaps a quarter of a dollar.
The peddler hesitated, and held it up so that the morning sun shone on
its bright hues.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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