American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Mrs. Henry gave us a meal so good that I have remembered it, and her
husband, the Judge, strove his best that we should eat it in merriment.
He poured out his anecdotes like wine, and we should have quickly warmed
to them; but Dr. MacBride sat among us, giving occasional heavy ha-ha's,
which produced, as Miss Molly Wood whispered to me, a "dreadfully
cavernous effect." Was it his sermon, we wondered, that he was thinking
over? I told her of the copious sheaf of them I had seen him pull from
his wallet over at the foreman's. "Goodness!" said she. "Then are we to
hear one every evening?" This I doubted; he had probably been picking
one out suitable for the occasion. "Putting his best foot foremost," was
her comment; "I suppose they have best feet, like the rest of us." Then
she grew delightfully sharp. "Do you know, when I first heard him I
thought his voice was hearty. But if you listen, you'll find it's merely
militant. He never really meets you with it. He's off on his hill
watching the battle-field the whole time."
"He will find a hardened pagan here."
"Judge Henry?"
"Oh, no! The wild man you're taming. He's brought you _Kenilworth_ safe
back."
She was smooth. "Oh, as for taming him! But don't you find him
intelligent?"
Suddenly I somehow knew that she didn't want to tame him. But what did
she want to do? The thought of her had made him blush this afternoon. No
thought of him made her blush this evening.
A great laugh from the rest of the company made me aware that the Judge
had consummated his tale of the "Sole Survivor."
"And so," he finished, "they all went off as mad as hops because it
hadn't been a massacre." Mr. and Mrs. Ogden--they were the New
Yorkers--gave this story much applause, and Dr. MacBride half a minute
later laid his "ha-ha," like a heavy stone, upon the gaiety.
"I'll never be able to stand seven sermons," said Miss Wood to me.
* * * * *
"Do you often have these visitations?" Ogden inquired of Judge Henry.
Our host was giving us whisky in his office, and Dr. MacBride, while we
smoked apart from the ladies, had repaired to his quarters in the
foreman's house previous to the service which he was shortly to hold.
The Judge laughed. "They come now and then through the year. I like the
bishop to come. And the men always like it. But I fear our friend will
scarcely please them so well."
"You don't mean they'll--"
"Oh, no. They'll keep quiet. The fact is, they have a good deal better
manners than he has, if he only knew it. They'll be able to bear him.
But as for any good he'll do--"
"I doubt if he knows a word of science," said I, musing about the
Doctor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account