American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
But Josiah asked the price, and said he wasn't goin' to pay out no three
hundred dollars, for he wasn't able. But the man asked if we was willin'
to have it brought into the house for a spell--we could do as we was a
mind to about buyin' it; and of course we couldn't refuse, so Josiah
most broke his back a liftin' it in, and they set it up in the parlor,
and after dinner the man went away.
Josiah bathed his back with linement, for he had strained it bad a
liftin' that piano, and I had jest got back to my washin' again (I had
had to put it away to git dinner) when I heerd a knockin' again to the
front door, and I pulled down my dress sleeves and went and opened it,
and there stood a tall, slim feller; and the kitchen bein' all cluttered
up I opened the parlor door and asked him in there, and the minute he
catched sight of that piano, he jest lifted up both hands, and says he:
"You haint got one of them here!"
He looked so horrified that it skairt me, and says I in almost tremblin'
tones:
"What is the matter with 'em?" And I added in a cheerful tone, "we haint
bought it."
He looked more cheerful too as I said it, and says he "You may be
thankful enough that you haint. There haint no music in 'em at all; hear
that," says he, goin' up and strikin' the very top note. It did sound
flat enough.
Says I, "There must be more music in it than that, though I haint no
judge at all."
"Well, hear that, then," and he went and struck the very bottom note.
"You see just what it is, from top to bottom. But it haint its total
lack of music that makes me despise pianos so, it is because they are so
dangerous."
"Dangerous?" says I.
"Yes, in thunder storms, you see;" says he, liftin' up the cover, "here
it is all wire, enough for fifty lightnin' rods--draw the lightnin'
right into the room. Awful dangerous! No money would tempt me to have
one in my house with my wife and daughter. I shouldn't sleep a wink
thinkin' I had exposed 'em to such danger."
"Good land!" says I, "I never thought on it before."
"Well, now you _have_ thought of it, you see plainly that a organ is
jest what you need. They are full of music, safe, healthy and don't cost
half so much."
Says I, "A organ was what we had sot our minds on at first."
"Well, I have got one out here, and I will bring it in."
"What is the price?" says I.
"One hundred and ninety dollars," says he.
"There won't be no need of bringin' it in at that price," says I, "for I
have heerd Josiah say, that he wouldn't give a cent over a hundred
dollars."
"Well," says the feller, "I'll tell you what I'll do. Your countenance
looks so kinder natural to me, and I like the looks of the country round
here so well, that if your mind is made up on the price you want to pay,
I won't let a trifle of ninety dollars part us. You can have it for one
hundred."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account