American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
But--lawzee-me!--w'y, I won't care.
I'm jest so glad they're comin',
I have to whistle to the tune
That my ol' heart's a-hummin'.
An' me an' Mammy--well, we think
It's good to be a-livin',
Sence all the children's comin' home
To spend the day Thanksgivin'.
PRAISE-GOD BAREBONES
BY ELLEN MACKAY HUTCHINSON CORTISSOZ
I and my cousin Wildair met
And tossed a pot together--
Burnt sack it was that Molly brewed,
For it was nipping weather.
'Fore George! To see Dick buss the wench
Set all the inn folk laughing!
They dubbed him pearl of cavaliers
At kissing and at quaffing.
"Oddsfish!" says Dick, "the sack is rare,
And rarely burnt, fair Molly;
'Twould cure the sourest Crop-ear yet
Of Pious Melancholy."
"Egad!" says I, "here cometh one
Hath been at 's prayers but lately."
--Sooth, Master Praise-God Barebones stepped
Along the street sedately.
Dick Wildair, with a swashing bow,
And touch of his Toledo,
Gave Merry Xmas to the rogue
And bade him say his Credo;
Next crush a cup to the King's health,
And eke to pretty Molly;
"'T will cure your saintliness," says Dick,
"Of Pious Melancholy."
Then Master Barebones stopped and frowned;
My heart stood still a minute;
Thinks I, both Dick and I will hang,
Or else the devil's in it!
For me, I care not for old Noll,
Nor all the Rump together.
Yet, faith! 't is best to be alive
In pleasant Xmas weather.
His worship, Barebones, grimly smiled;
"I love not blows nor brawling;
Yet will I give thee, fool, a pledge!"
And, zooks! he sent Dick sprawling!
When Moll and I helped Wildair up,
No longer trim and jolly--
"Feelst not, Sir Dick," says saucy Moll,
"A Pious Melancholy?"
THE LOAFER AND THE SQUIRE
BY PORTE CRAYON
The squire himself was the type of a class found only among the rural
population of our Southern States--a class, the individuals of which are
connected by a general similarity of position and circumstance, but
present a field to the student of man infinite in variety, rich in
originality.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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