American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"That's the artistic beauty of the mail scheme," said Jimaboy,
enthusiastically. "It doesn't require capitalizing; no buildings, no
campus, no football team, no expensive university plant; nothing but an
inspiration, a serviceable typewriter, and a little old postman to blow
his whistle at the door."
"And the specialty," added Isobel, "though some of them don't seem to
trouble themselves much about that. Oh, yes; and the advertising; that
is where the endowment comes in, isn't it?"
But Jimaboy would not admit the obstacle.
"That is one of the things that grow by what they are fed upon: your ad.
brings in the money, and then the money buys more ad. Now, there's
Blicker, of the _Woman's Uplift_; he still owes us for that last
story--we take it out in advertising space. Also Dormus, of the _Home
World_, and Amory, of the _Storylovers_--same boat--more advertising
space. Then the _Times_ hasn't paid for that string of space-fillers on
'The Lovers of All Nations.' The _Times_ has a job office, and we could
take that out in prospectuses and application blanks."
By this time the situation was entirely saved and Isobel's eyes were
dancing.
"Wouldn't it be glorious?" she murmured. "Think of the precious,
precious letters we'd get; real letters like some of those pretended
ones in Mr. Blicker's correspondence column. And we wouldn't tell them
what the 'W. B.' meant until after they'd finished the course, and then
we'd send them the degree of 'Master of Wedded Bliss,' and write it out
in the diploma."
Jimaboy sat back in his chair and laughed uproariously. The most
confirmed sentimentalist may have a saving sense of humor. Indeed, it is
likely to go hard with him in the experimental years, if he has it not.
"It's perfectly feasible--perfectly," he chuckled. "It would be merely
pounding sand into the traditional rat-hole with all the implements
furnished--teaching our specialty to a world yearning to know how. You
could get up the lectures and question schedules for the men, and I
could make some sort of a shift with the women."
"Yes; but the text-books. Don't these 'Fit-yourself-at-Home' schools
have text-books?"
"Um, y-yes; I suppose they do. That would be a little difficult for
us--just at the go-off. But we could get around that. For example, 'Dear
Mrs. Blank: Replying to your application for membership in the
Post-Graduate School of W. B., would say that your case is so
peculiar'--that would flatter her immensely--'your case is so peculiar
that the ordinary text-books cover it very inadequately. Therefore, with
your approval, and for a small additional tuition fee of $2 the term, we
shall place you in a special class to be instructed by electrographed
lectures dictated personally by the principal.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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