A Turk was standing upon the shore Right where the terrible Russian crossed; And he cried, "Bismillah! I'm Abd el Kor- Bazaroukilgonautoskobrosk- Getzinpravadi- Kilgekosladji- Grivido- Blivido- Jenikodosk!" So they stood like brave men, long and well, And they called each other their proper names, Till the lock-jaw seized them, and where they fell They buried them both by the Irdosholames- Kalatalustchuk- Mischaribustchup- Bulgari- Dulgari- Sagharimainz. THE EXPERIENCES OF GENTLE JANE BY CAROLYN WELLS THE CARNIVOROUS BEAR Gentle Jane went walking, where She espied a Grizzly Bear; Flustered by the quadruped Gentle Jane just lost her head. THE RUDE TRAIN Last week, Tuesday, gentle Jane Met a passing railroad train; "Ah, good afternoon," she said; But the train just cut her dead. THE CARELESS NIECE Once her brother's child, for fun, Pointed at her aunt a gun. At this conduct of her niece's Gentle Jane went all to pieces. THE NAUGHTY AUTOMOBILE Gentle Jane went for a ride, But the automobile shied; Threw the party all about-- Somehow, Jane felt quite put out. THE COLD, HARD LAKE Gentle Jane went out to skate; She fell through at half-past eight. Then the lake, with icy glare, Said, "Such girls I can not bear." THE CALM STEAM-ROLLER In the big steam-roller's path Gentle Jane expressed her wrath. It passed over. After that Gentle Jane looked rather flat. A NEW EXPERIENCE Much surprised was gentle Jane When a bullet pierced her brain; "Such a thing as that," she said, "Never came into my head!" THE BATTERING-RAM "Ah!" said gentle Jane, "I am Proud to meet a battering-ram." Then, with shyness overcome, Gentle Jane was just struck dumb. A FEW REFLECTIONS BY BILL ARP