American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Good--Melinda! Do you think I could help coming?" he ejaculated. "I can
not tell you--words are inadequate to express what I feel," he went
on,--"the deep gratitude, the humility, the wonder, the triumph, the
determination, with God's aid, to live up to the high ideal you have set
forth in your wonderful story. You have seen the latent qualities, the
nobler potentialities; you have shown me to myself. _Melinda!_ Do not
think that I do not appreciate the difficulties of this hour for you. I
know how your heart is shrinking, how your delicate maidenly modesty is
up in arms. But Melinda, you know! you know! _Dear Melinda!_"
"I am glad you understand me, John."
"Understand you!" The Reverend Graham could restrain himself no longer.
He swept her into his arms, appropriating his own.
Melinda remained there quiescently leaning against his shoulder, because
there seemed nothing else to do, also because it was a broad and
comfortable shoulder against which to lean. "I am done for," she
reflected. "Now I will never dare to confess that I was trying to be
humorous."
Then she reached up a hand and touched the Preacher's face timidly. His
cheek was wet. "Why, John--_John!_" she whispered.
ABOU BEN BUTLER
BY JOHN PAUL
Abou, Ben Butler (may his tribe be less!)
Awoke one night from a deep bottledness,
And saw, by the rich radiance of the moon,
Which shone and shimmered like a silver spoon,
A stranger writing on a golden slate
(Exceeding store had Ben of spoons and plate),
And to the stranger in his tent he said:
"Your little game?" The stranger turned his head,
And, with a look made all of innocence,
Replied: "I write the name of Presidents."
"And is mine one?" "Not if this court doth know
Itself," replied the stranger. Ben said, "Oh!"
And "Ah!" but spoke again: "Just name your price
To write me up as one that may be Vice."
The stranger up and vanished. The next night
He came again, and showed a wondrous sight
Of names that haply yet might fill the chair--
But, lo! the name of Butler was not there!
LATTER-DAY WARNINGS
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
When legislators keep the law,
When banks dispense with bolts and locks,--
When berries--whortle, rasp, and straw--
Grow bigger _downwards_ through the box,--
When he that selleth house or land
Shows leak in roof or flaw in right,--
When haberdashers choose the stand
Whose window hath the broadest light,--
When preachers tell us all they think,
And party leaders all they mean,--
When what we pay for, that we drink,
From real grape and coffee-bean,--
When lawyers take what they would give,
And doctors give what they would take,--
When city fathers eat to live,
Save when they fast for conscience' sake,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account