O' course, there's some that likes the tunes Like _Lily Dale_ an' _Ragtime Coons_; Some likes a solo or duet By Charley Green--B-flat cornet-- An' Ernest Brown--th' trombone man. (An' they can play, er no one can); But it's the best when Henry Dunn Lets them there sticks just cut an' run, An' 'Lijah says to let her hum With "Tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle- Bum-Bum!" I don't know why, ner what's the use O' havin' that to interduce A tune--but I know, as fer me I'd ten times over ruther see Elijah Plumb chaw with his chin, A-gettin' ready to begin, While Henry plays that roll o' his An' makes them drumsticks fairly sizz, Announcin' music, on th' drum, With "Tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle- Bum-Bum!" MY FIRST CIGAR BY ROBERT J. BURDETTE 'Twas just behind the woodshed, One glorious summer day, Far o'er the hills the sinking sun Pursued his westward way; And in my safe seclusion Removed from all the jar And din of earth's confusion I smoked my first cigar. It was my first cigar! It was the worst cigar! Raw, green and dank, hide-bound and rank It was my first cigar! Ah, bright the boyish fancies Wrapped in the smoke-wreaths blue; My eyes grew dim, my head was light, The woodshed round me flew! Dark night closed in around me-- Black night, without a star-- Grim death methought had found me And spoiled my first cigar. It was my first cigar! A six-for-five cigar! No viler torch the air could scorch-- It was my first cigar! All pallid was my beaded brow, The reeling night was late, My startled mother cried in fear, "My child, what have you ate?" I heard my father's smothered laugh, It seemed so strange and far, I knew he knew I knew he knew I'd smoked my first cigar! It was my first cigar! A give-away cigar! I could not die--I knew not why-- It was my first cigar! Since then I've stood in reckless ways, I've dared what men can dare, I've mocked at danger, walked with death, I've laughed at pain and care. I do not dread what may befall 'Neath my malignant star, No frowning fate again can make Me smoke my first cigar. I've smoked my first cigar! My first and worst cigar! Fate has no terrors for the man Who's smoked his first cigar! A BULLY BOAT AND A BRAG CAPTAIN _A Story of Steamboat Life on the Mississippi_ BY SOL SMITH