American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"And what do ye think," cried Mrs. McGinniss, as Mrs. Kelly stopped for
breath, "the other night, when me an' some frinds was comin' in for a
quiet avenin', we found my Ellen Addy had hauled the bed into the front
room, an' she an' the young ones was all asleep, an' up to the winders
was my best petticut cut in two. When I waked her up she whined,
'Teacher says it ain't healthy to sleep in back.' Did ye ever hear the
like of that? an' every blessed one of them kids born there!"
"Now, wha' d'ye think o' that?" murmured the crowd.
Mrs. Kelly caught her breath and began again. "I've axed ye to come here
because teacher sent word that she'd like the mothers to come of a
Satady and tell her how they liked what she was doin' for the young
ones. Tim says as they sends a committee from men's meetings, and I
think if Mrs. McGinniss, Mrs. McGraw and me was to riprisint this
gatherin' we could tell her how we all feels."
It was Saturday afternoon, and the model flat was in perfect order,
while the little servant, called "friend" by Miss Anderson, waited in
her spotless apron to answer the bell. Another object-lesson for the
mothers who were expected. The bell rang and three women walked soberly
into the little hall.
"I am so glad to see you, Mrs. Kelly, and you, Mrs. McGinniss." She
hesitated at the third name.
"'Tis Mrs. McGraw," said Mrs. Kelly.
"Bring the tea, Louisa," said Miss Anderson, "and then I want to show
you how pleasant my home is here."
Mrs. Kelly gave a sniff. "Hum, yessum, it's sunny, but I've seen your
home up town, and it's beyond the likes of me to see why you're down
here at all, at all."
"Yes," said Mrs. McGinniss, "an' I've come to say that you'd better stay
up there an' stop teachin' my childer about their insides. I'm tired of
hearin' 'I can't eat this an' I can't eat that, cause teacher says there
ain't no food walue.' An' there's Mrs. Polinski, down the street, says
she'll have no more foolishness."
Mrs. Kelly had caught her breath again. "Her Rebecca come home only
yestidy an' cut all the stitches in Ikey's clo'es, an' him sewed up for
the winter."
Just then a woman with a shawl over her head came in without knocking.
With a nod to the three women, she faced the teacher. "Now, I'd like to
know one thing," she said; "you sent my Josie home this morning to wash
the patchouly offen her hair; now, I want to know just one thing--does
she come here to be smelt or to be learnt?"
"There's another thing, too," said Mrs. Kelly; "I want that physical
torture business stopped. The young ones are tearin' all their clo'es
off, an' it's _got to be stopped_!"
Katherine looked a little dazed and her voice trembled a bit as she
said: "Wouldn't you like to look at the flat?"
"No, Miss, we wouldn't," said Mrs. Kelly. "You're a nice young woman,
and you don't mean no harm, but it's the sinse av the committee that
you're buttin' in. Good day to ye." And they filed slowly out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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