How I lofes to see dot Shonny-- Shonny Schwartz-- Vhen he schgampers off to schgool, Vhere he alvays minds der rule! For he vas nopody's fool,-- Shonny Schwartz. How I vish dot leedle Shonny-- Shonny Schwartz-- Could remain von leedle poy, Alvays full off life und shoy, Und dot Time vould not annoy Shonny Schwartz! Nefer mindt, mine leedle Shonny,-- Shonny Schwartz; Efry day prings someding new: Alvays keep der righdt in view, Und baddle, den, your own canoe, Shonny Schwartz. Keep her in der channel, Shonny,-- Shonny Schwartz: Life's voyich vill pe quickly o'er; Und den ubon dot bedder shore Ve'll meet again, to bart no more, Shonny Schwartz. A BULLY BOAT AND A BRAG CAPTAIN _A Story of Steamboat Life on the Mississippi_ BY SOL SMITH Does any one remember the _Caravan_? She was what would now be considered a slow boat--_then_ (1827) she was regularly advertised as the "fast running," etc. Her regular trips from New Orleans to Natchez were usually made in from six to eight days; a trip made by her in five days was considered remarkable. A voyage from New Orleans to Vicksburg and back, including stoppages, generally entitled the officers and crew to a month's wages. Whether the _Caravan_ ever achieved the feat of a voyage to the Falls (Louisville) I have never learned; if she did, she must have "had a _time_ of it!" It was my fate to take passage in this boat. The Captain was a good-natured, easy-going man, careful of the comfort of his passengers, and exceedingly fond of the _game of brag_. We had been out a little more than five days, and we were in hopes of seeing the bluffs of Natchez on the next day. Our wood was getting low, and night coming on. The pilot on duty _above_ (the other pilot held three aces at the time, and was just calling out the Captain, who "went it strong" on three kings) sent down word that the mate had reported the stock of wood reduced to half a cord. The worthy Captain excused himself to the pilot whose watch was _below_ and the two passengers who made up the party, and hurried to the deck, where he soon discovered by the landmarks that we were about half a mile from a woodyard, which he said was situated "right round yonder point." "But," muttered the Captain, "I don't much like to take wood of the yellow-faced old scoundrel who owns it--he always charges a quarter of a dollar more than any one else; however, there's no other chance." The boat was pushed to her utmost, and in a little less than an hour, when our fuel was about giving out, we made the point, and our cables were out and fastened to trees alongside of a good-sized wood pile. "Hallo, Colonel! How d'ye sell your wood _this_ time?"