American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Ah, ha!" he shouted, "now you're on the Shore line! River Road, eh?
Beautiful curves, lines of grace at every bend and sweep of the river;
all steel rail and rock ballast; single track, and not a siding from the
round-house to the terminus. Takes a heap of water to run it, though;
double tanks at every station, and there isn't an engine in the shops
that can run a mile or pull a pound with less than two gauges. Runs
through a lovely country--river on one side and the hills on the other;
and it's a steady climb, up grade all the way until the run ends where
the river begins, at the fountain head. Yes, sir, I'll take the River
Road every time for a safe trip, sure connections, good time, and no
dust blowing in when you open a window. And yesterday morning, when the
conductor came around taking up fares with a little basket punch, I
didn't ask him to pass me; I paid my fare like a little
Jonah--twenty-five cents for a ninety-minute run, with a concert by the
passengers thrown in. I tell you what it is, Pilgrim, never mind your
baggage, you just secure your passage on the River Road if you want to
go to--"
But just here the long whistle announced a station, and the Brakeman
hurried to the door, shouting--
"Zions-VILLE! ZIONS-ville! All out for Zionsville! This train makes no
stops between here and Indianapolis!"
HOW MR. TERRAPIN LOST HIS BEARD
BY ANNE VIRGINIA CULBERTSON
The "cook-house" stood at some little distance from the "big house," and
every evening after supper it was full of light and noise and laughter.
The light came from the fire on the huge hearth, above which hung the
crane and the great iron pots which Eliza, the cook, declared were
indispensable in the practice of her art. To be sure, there was a
cook-stove, but 'Liza was wedded to old ways and maintained there was
nothing "stove cooked" that could hope to rival the rich and nutty
flavor of ash cake, or greens "b'iled slow an' long over de ha'th, wid a
piece er bacon in de pot."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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