Knowed him for more than sixty year back-- Used to be somewhat older than him Fought him one night to a husking bee; Licked him in manner uncommon complete; Every one said 'twas a beautiful fight; Joe he wa'n't satisfied with it that way, Kept dinging along, and when he got through The worst looking critter that you ever see Were stretched on a bed rigged up in the hay-- They carted me home the following day. Got me a sweetheart purty and trim, Told me that I was a heap likelier than Joe; Mittened him twict; he kept on the track, Followed her round every place she would go; Offered to lick him; says she, "It's a treat, Let's watch and find out what the poor critter will do." Watched him, believing the thing was all right-- That identical girl is Joe's widow to-night. Run to be justice, then Joe he run, too; Knowed I was pop'lar and he hadn't a friend, So there wa'n't no use of my hurrying. The 'lection came off, we counted the votes; I hadn't enough; Joe had them to lend. Now all the way through I had been taking notes Of his disagreeable way, And it tickles me now to be able to say He's bested for good in the end; Got him down where he's bound to stay; I were a pall to his burrying. THE V-A-S-E BY JAMES JEFFREY ROCHE From the madding crowd they stand apart, The maidens four and the Work of Art; And none might tell from sight alone In which had Culture ripest grown-- The Gotham Million fair to see, The Philadelphia Pedigree, The Boston Mind of azure hue, Or the soulful Soul from Kalamazoo-- For all loved Art in a seemly way, With an earnest soul and a capital A. * * * * * Long they worshipped; but no one broke The sacred stillness, until upspoke The Western one from the nameless place, Who, blushing, said: "What a lovely vase!" Over three faces a sad smile flew, And they edged away from Kalamazoo. But Gotham's haughty soul was stirred To crush the stranger with one small word. Deftly hiding reproof in praise, She cries: "'T is, indeed, a lovely vaze!" But brief her unworthy triumph when The lofty one from the house of Penn, With the consciousness of two grandpapas, Exclaims: "It is quite a lovely vahs!" And glances round with an anxious thrill, Awaiting the word of Beacon Hill. But the Boston maid smiles courteouslee And gently murmurs: "Oh, pardon me! "I did not catch your remark, because I was so entranced with that charming vaws!" _Dies erit proegelida Sinistra quum Bostonia._ EVE'S DAUGHTER BY EDWARD ROWLAND SILL