American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Well, here I had two hats, neither of which was mine. I could, at a
pinch, wear the opera-hat, as it was the exact size of the one I had
lost. But what was to be done with the Frenchman's?... Fool that I was!
I rushed over to the table. The Frenchman had left his card, and I had
forgotten all about it. And I hadn't asked the benevolent old gentleman
where he lived. The Frenchman's card read: "M. de Beausire, No. ----
Washington Place." I decided to go myself to the address, state the
matter to Monsieur de Beausire, and rescue the letter. I knew all about
these Toddy-One-Boys, and I might be doing some girl a signal service.
I looked at my watch. It was closing on to ten. So I reluctantly got
into my coat again, drew on a topcoat, and put on the hat that fitted
me. Probably the girl had been writing some fortunate fellow a
love-letter. No gentleman will ever overlook a chance to do a favor for
a young girl in distress. I had scarcely drawn my stick from the
umbrella-jar when the bell rang once again.
"Hello!" I called down the tube. Why couldn't they let me be?
"Lady wants to see you, sir."
"A lady!"
"Yes, sir. A real lady; l-a-d-y. She says she's come to see the
gentleman in number six about a plug hat. What's the graft, anyway?"
"A plug hat!"
"Yes, sir; a plug hat. She seems a bit anxious. Shall I send her up?
She's a peach."
"Yes, send her up," I answered feebly enough.
And now there was a woman in the case! I wiped the perspiration from my
brow and wondered what I should say to her. A woman.... By Jove! the
sister of the mischievous boy! Old Chittenden must have told her where
he had gone, and as he hasn't shown up, she's worried. It must be a
tremendously important letter to cause all this hubbub. So I laid aside
my hat and waited, tugging and gnawing at my mustache.... Had the Girl
acted reasonably I shouldn't have gone to Martin's that night.
How easy it is for a woman to hurt the man she knows I is in love with
her! And the Girl had hurt me more than I was willing to confess even to
myself. She had implied that I had carelessly broken an engagement.
Soon there came a gentle tapping. Certainly the young woman had abundant
pluck. I approached the door quickly, and flung it open.
The Girl herself stood on the threshold, and we stared at each other
with bewildered eyes!
II
She was the most exquisite creature in all the wide world; and here she
was, within reach of my hungry arms!
"You?" she cried, stepping back, one hand at her throat and the other
against the jamb of the door.
Dumb as ever was Lot's wife (after the turning-point in her career), I
stood and stared and admired. A woman would instantly have noticed the
beauty of her sables, but I was a man to whom such details were
inconsequent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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