American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Sit down again," said Thacker, "and I'll tell you. Twelve years ago
they lost a kid. No, he didn't die--although most of 'em here do from
drinking the surface water. He was a wild little devil, even if he
wasn't but eight years old. Everybody knows about it. Some Americans who
were through here prospecting for gold had letters to Senor Urique, and
the boy was a favorite with them. They filled his head with big stories
about the States; and about a month after they left, the kid
disappeared, too. He was supposed to have stowed himself away among the
banana bunches on a fruit steamer, and gone to New Orleans. He was seen
once afterward in Texas, it was thought, but they never heard anything
more of him. Old Urique has spent thousands of dollars having him looked
for. The madam was broken up worst of all. The kid was her life. She
wears mourning yet. But they say she believes he'll come back to her
some day, and never gives up hope. On the back of the boy's left hand
was tattooed a flying eagle carrying a spear in his claws. That's old
Urique's coat of arms or something that he inherited in Spain."
The Kid raised his left hand slowly and gazed at it curiously.
"That's it," said Thacker, reaching behind the official desk for his
bottle of smuggled brandy. "You're not so slow. I can do it. What was I
consul at Sandakan for? I never knew till now. In a week I'll have the
eagle bird with the frog-sticker blended in so you'd think you were
born with it. I brought a set of the needles and ink just because I was
sure you'd drop in some day, Mr. Dalton."
"Oh, hell," said the Kid. "I thought I told you."
"All right, 'Kid,' then. It won't be that long. How does Senorito Urique
sound, for a change?"
"I never played son any that I remember of," said the Kid. "If I had any
parents to mention they went over the divide about the time I gave my
first bleat. What is the plan of your round-up?"
Thacker leaned back against the wall and held his glass up to the light.
"We've come now," said he, "to the question of how far you're willing to
go in a little matter of the sort."
"I told you why I came down here," said the Kid simply.
"A good answer," said the consul. "But you won't have to go that far.
Here's the scheme. After I get the trade-mark tattooed on your hand I'll
notify old Urique. In the meantime I'll furnish you with all of the
family history I can find out, so you can be studying up points to talk
about. You've got the looks, you speak the Spanish, you know the facts,
you can tell about Texas, you've got the tattoo mark. When I notify them
that the rightful heir has returned and is waiting to know whether he
will be received and pardoned, what will happen? They'll simply rush
down here and fall on your neck, and the curtain goes down for
refreshments and a stroll in the lobby."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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