The Individual was received at the door by a short, greasy, dirty
man, about forty years of age, who invited him into the front
parlor, to wait until the Madame was disengaged. This man, who is
an ignorant, half-imbecile person, passes for the husband of the
fortune teller, and is known as _Doctor_ Lebond. He is a man of
peculiar appearance; the top of his head is perfectly bald, and
the fringe of hair about the lower part of it, is twisted into
long corkscrew ringlets, that fall low down on his shoulders.
He informed the customer that the Madame was then engaged, but he
seemed undecided about the exact nature of her present employment.
He first said she was “tellin’ the futur for a young gal;” then
she was “engaged with a literary man;” then “a dry-goods merchant
wanted to find out if his head clerk didn’t drink;” but finally
he said that “Madame L. is a eatin’ of her dinner.” After some
ingenious drawing-out, the _Doctor_ vouchsafed the subjoined
statement of his business prospects.
“We seen the time when we hadn’t fifteen minutes a day, on
account of young gals a comin’ for to have their fortune told; we
used to be busy from mornin’ till ten and ’levin o’clock at night
a-tellin’ fortunes an’ a doctorin’—but now, we don’t do so much
’cause the young gals don’t like to come to a boardin’-house
where young men can see ’em, ’specially in the evenin’. We’s too
public here; the young men a-boardin’ here likes for to have the
young gals come, they likes for to see ’em in the parlor, but the
young gals won’t come so much, ’cause we’s too public. We’ll have
for to get another house on account of business.
“I don’t get so much doctorin’ to do as I used to, ’cause we’s
too public. I have doctored lots of folks, principally young
fellers and young gals, and I can do it right. If you ever get
into any trouble you’ll find me and my wife _all right_; you can
come to us—we mean to be all right, and to give everybody the
worth of their money, and we _is_ all right.”
By this time, Madame Lebond had finished her dinner, and was
waiting in the back parlor. She is a fat, slovenly-looking woman,
forty years old or more, having no teeth, and taking prodigious
quantities of snuff, which gives her enunciation some peculiar
characteristics.
When the Individual first beheld her, she was standing in the
middle of the floor, picking her teeth. She requested her visitor
to take a seat, and to pay her half-a-dollar, with both of which
requests he complied. She then put into his hand the end of a
brass tube about an inch in diameter and a foot long, and said:
“Give be the tibe of your birth as dear as possible.”
This was done, and the following brief dialogue ensued:—
“Was you bord id the bording?”
“I really don’t remember.”
“Do you have beddy dreabs?”
“I do not dream much.”
“Thed you dod’t have bad dreabs?”
“No.”
“Thed you was bord id the bording,” by which mysterious word she
probably meant, “morning.” She then continued:—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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