He drew a deep breath of relief and turned away quickly from the sight
of her poor drowned eyes, rejoicing that they had not been the eyes of
Bonnie. It was terrible to think of Bonnie lying so, all drenched and
her spirit put out. He was glad he might still think of her alive, and
go on searching for her. But a dart of pain went through his heart as he
looked again at this little wreck of womanhood, going out of a life that
had dealt hardly with her; where she had reached for brightness and
pleasure, and had found ashes and bitterness instead. Going into a
beyond of darkness, hoping, perhaps, for no kindlier hands to greet her
than those that had been withheld from her in this world! What would the
resurrection mean to a poor little soul like that? What could it mean?
Ah! Perhaps it had not all been her fault! Perhaps there were others who
had helped push her down, smug in self-righteousness, to whom the
resurrection would be more of a horror than to the pretty, ignorant
child whose untaught feet had strayed into forbidden paths! Who knew? He
was glad to look up and feel the Presence there! Who knew what might
have passed between the soul and God? It was safe to leave that little
sinful soul with Him who had died to save. It was good to go out from
there knowing that the pretty, sinful girl, the hardened, grizzled sot,
the poor old toothless crone, the little hunchback newsboy who lay in
the same row, were guarded alike and beloved by the same Presence that
would go with him.
Around the little newsboy huddled a group of street gamins, counting out
their few pennies, and talking excitedly of how they would buy him some
flowers. There were tear-stains down their grimy cheeks and it was plain
they were pitying him, they who had perhaps yet to tread the paths of
sin and deprivation and sorrow for many long years. And the Presence
there! So near them, with the pitying eyes! The young man knew the eyes
were pitying! If the children could only see! He felt an impulse to turn
back and tell them as he passed out into the street, yet how could he
make them understand--he who understood so feebly and intermittently
himself? He felt a great ache in himself to go out and shout to all the
world to look up and see the Presence that was in their midst, and they
saw Him not!
He was entirely aware that his present mental state would have seemed to
him little short of insanity twenty-four hours before; that it might
pass again as it had done before; and a kind of mental frenzy seized him
lest it would. He did not want to lose this assurance of One guiding
through a world that was so full of sorrow as this one had recently
revealed itself to him to be. And with the world-old anguished "Give me
a sign!" the cry of the soul reaching out to the unknown, he spoke aloud
once more: "God, if You are really there, let me find her!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account