After being the victim of so much deception, to lose what he looked upon
as his own particular treasure, to which he had imagined that it would
not be too late to return at any time, simply because he never dreamed
that anyone would wish to take it from him, seemed to him the last
stroke of ill fortune. His despair was no less profound and gloomy that
it was a mute despair. He bit his fists, he knocked his head against the
sides of the tree, and finally began to cry and sob. But they were not
those tears and sobs which gradually soften the heart and are often
kindly agents in dispersing a bad humour and reviving a better one; no,
they were tears and sobs arising rather from anger than from regret, and
these tears and sobs had no power to drive the hatred out of Thibault’s
heart. As some of his tears fell visibly adown his face, so it seemed
that others fell on his heart within like drops of gall.
He declared that he loved Agnelette; he lamented at having lost her;
nevertheless, this furious man, with all his tender love, would gladly
have been able to see her fall dead, together with her bridegroom, at
the foot of the altar when the priest was about to join them. But
happily, God, who was reserving the two children for other trials, did
not allow this fatal wish to formulate itself in Thibault’s mind. They
were like those who, surrounded by storm, hear the noise of the thunder
and see the forked flashes of the lightning, and yet remain untouched by
the deadly fluid.
Before long the shoe-maker began to feel ashamed of his tears and sobs;
he forced back the former, and made an effort to swallow the latter.
He came out of his lair, not quite knowing where he was, and rushed off
in the direction of his hut, covering a league in a quarter of an hour;
this mad race, however, by causing him to perspire, somewhat calmed him
down. At last he recognised the surroundings of his home; he went into
his hut as a tiger might enter its den, closed the door behind him, and
went and crouched down in the darkest corner he could find in his
miserable lodging. There, his elbows on his knees, his chin on his
hands, he sat and thought. And what thoughts were they which occupied
this unhappy, desperate man? Ask of Milton what were Satan’s thoughts
after his fall.
He went over again all the old questions which had upset his mind from
the beginning, which had brought despair upon so many before him, and
would bring despair to so many that came after him.
Why should some be born in bondage and others be born to power?
Why should there be so much inequality with regard to a thing which
takes place in exactly the same way in all classes--namely birth?
By what means can this game of nature’s, in which chance for ever holds
the cards against mankind, be made a fairer one?
And is not the only way to accomplish this, to do what the clever
gamester does--get the devil to back him up? he had certainly thought so
once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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