It is true the erroneous idea still prevails in many homes that the
daughter must willingly sacrifice her social task for the family, a
sacrifice which the family would never even wish on the part of a son.
But the assurance that the daughter _could_ have made another choice
instils in the family, unconsciously, a new conception of her sacrifice,
and gives to herself the courage to assume a position in the home other
than that she held at the time when no choice remained to her. If the
total of efficacious daughterly love of to-day and earlier times be
estimated, this total would not prove less now. But it is now given
rather in a great sum; earlier, on the contrary, in many small coins.
Because of the professional work of the daughter, there are now often
lacking in the home the ready obliging young hands whose help father and
brother so willingly engrossed; the cheerful comforter, the admiring
listener. But in a great hour the daughter or sister gives now often a
hundred times more in deep, personal understanding. One draws a false
conclusion when one thinks that the more closely a family holds together
the more it signifies a corresponding unity and devotion. The young act
in submission because they permit themselves to be cowed by the family
authority which like a steam-roller passed over their wills and their
hearts. But the indignation that they experienced in their innermost
hearts, the criticism which they exercised among one another, were not
less bitter than that which they to-day openly utter.
The home life of fifty years ago was a school of diplomacy; it
especially served to oppose cunning to the father’s authority, and the
mother often taught the children to use this weapon of weakness. Now the
father does not wish to make himself ridiculous by saying: “I forbid
you,” for the daughter answers: “Well, then, I will wait until I am
twenty-one.” The threat, “I disinherit you,” recoils from the
determination of the daughter, “I can work.” Only in a distant province,
in a little town, or among the “upper ten thousand” of a large city,
where the daughters still often receive a “general education,” which
does not fit them to earn their living, are they occupied all day
without the feeling of having worked. They serve at five o’clock teas,
embroider for charity bazaars, etc. But they also experience the power
of the spirit of the time strongly enough to know that they lead a
selfish life but not a life of self. The lower the scale of riches the
more housework do the daughters have to perform. But as a result of the
patriarchal organisation of labour they still perform this without their
own responsibility, without the joy of independence, without regular
unoccupied time and without one penny at their disposal!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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