Whether the province of the husband and wife is the same or not,
difficulty always results from the wife’s commercial or professional
work in that she rarely finds a good substitute for the domestic and
maternal duties. And when the husband sees the house badly managed and
the children ill-bred, he tries according to his strength to render
assistance or, as more frequently happens, seeks his comfort outside the
home. But even if these stumbling-blocks may be cleared away by other
feminine hands, the fact still remains that the wife because of her work
must demand sacrifices on the part of the man such as his work has
required at all times from the wife. She is often compelled to forego
much of the society of her husband, of his solicitude and tenderness
because he has no available time. Now each of the married people has
consideration for the leisure of the other and for all other severe
conditions of the work. But beside these favourable results stands also
the detrimental fact that each suppresses his claims upon the sympathy
of the other, as well as the wish to express his own, whenever this
receiving and giving would interfere with the work. If this has become
for one or for both a real passion, then the passion blinds him to
everything that does not concern the work, and causes alternately joy or
suffering. Each of the married couple then disturbs the other by moods,
and each needs to be cherished by the other. The tenderness which
neither can give to the other, they find perhaps in a third.
But in those cases where the work is not passionately absorbing or where
both husband and wife are persons of understanding, rather than of
feeling, marriages of colleagues turn out well. Each has in the other an
intelligent, appreciative friend; the common work together is rich, and
neither gives nor requires more than the other is able to reciprocate.
The education of the wife makes her a good organiser in the home, which
is comfortable without the work’s suffering thereby. When this is not
too strenuous for either, but after the close of a reasonable working
time, the two meet spiritually free in the home, the duties of which
they often share—then the domestic life is happy and the work progresses
easily, as long as there are no children. When children arrive, then
there begins for the wife, even in such marriages, a life beyond her
strength.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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