On the following day Fritz drove her himself to Manchester House in a
new motor he had recently bought. All the morning he had stayed at home
and fidgeted about the house. It was obvious to his wife that he was in
an unusually distracted frame of mind. He wanted to tell her something,
yet could not do so. She saw that plainly, and she felt almost certain
that since their interview of the previous day he had seen Miss Schley.
She fancied that there had been a scene of some kind between them, and
she guessed that Fritz had been hopelessly worsted in it and was very
sorry for himself. There was a beaten look in his face, a very different
look from that which had startled her when he came into her room after
thrashing Leo Ulford. This time, however, her curiosity was not awake,
and the fact that it was not awake marked a change in her. She felt
to-day as if she did not care what Fritz had been doing or was going
to do. She had suffered, she had concealed her suffering, she had tried
vulgarly to pay Fritz out, she had failed. At the critical moment she
had played the woman after he had played the man. He had thrashed the
intruder whom she was using as a weapon, and she had bathed his wounds,
made much of him, idealised him. She had done what any uneducated street
woman would have done for “her man.” And now she had suddenly come to
feel as if there had always been an emptiness in her life, as if Fritz
never had, never could fill it. The abruptness of the onset of this new
feeling confused her. She did not know that a woman could be subject
to a change of this kind. She did not understand it, realise what it
portended, what would result from it. But she felt that, for the moment,
at any rate, she could not get up any excitement about Fritz, his
feelings, his doings. Whenever she thought of him she thought of his
blundering stupidity, his blindness, sensuality and egoism. No doubt she
loved him. Only, to-day, she did not feel as if she loved him or anyone.
Yet she did not feel dull. On the contrary, she was highly strung,
unusually sensitive. What she was most acutely conscious of was a
sensation of lonely excitement, of solitary expectation. Fritz fidgeted
about the house, and the fact that he did so gave her no more concern
than if a little dog had been running to and fro. She did not want him
to tell her what was the matter. On the other hand, she did want him not
to tell her. Simply she did not care.
He said nothing. Perhaps something in her look, her manner, kept him
dumb.
When they were in the motor on the way to Manchester House, he said:
“I bet you’ll cut out everybody.”
“Oh, there are all sorts of stars.”
“Well, mind you put ‘em all out.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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