The hint of Fritz which she recognised in Leo Ulford had vaguely
attracted her to him from the first. How her world would have laughed at
such a domestic sentiment! She found herself wondering whether it were
Miss Schley’s physical resemblance to her which had first attracted
Fritz, the touch of his wife in a woman who was not his wife and who was
what men call “a rascal.” Perhaps Fritz loved Miss Schley’s imitation
of her. She thought a great deal about that--turning it over and over in
her mind, bringing to bear on it the white light of her knowledge of her
husband’s character. Did he see in the American his wife transformed,
made common, sly, perhaps wicked, set on the outside edge of decent
life, or further--over the border? And did he delight in that? If
so, ought she not to--? Then her mind was busy. Should she change? If
herself changed were his ideal, why not give him what he wanted? Why let
another woman give it to him? But at this point she recognised a fact
recognised by thousands of women with exasperation, sometimes with
despair--that men would often hate in their wives the thing that draws
them to women not their wives. The Pimpernel Schleys of the world
know this masculine propensity of seeking different things--opposites,
even--in the wife and the woman beyond the edge of the hearthstone, a
propensity perhaps more tragic to wives than any other that exists in
husbands. And having recognised this fact, Lady Holme knew that it would
be worse than useless for her to imitate Miss Schley’s imitation of her.
Then, travelling along the road of thought swiftly as women in such a
case always travel, she reached another point. She began to consider
the advice of Robin Pierce, given before she had begun to feel with such
intensity, to consider it as a soldier might consider a plan of campaign
drawn up by another.
Should she, instead of descending, of following the demure steps of the
American to the lower places, strive to ascend?
Could she ascend? Was Robin Pierce right? She thought for a long time
about his conception of her. The singing woman; would she be the most
powerful enemy that could confront Miss Schley? And, if she would be,
could the singing woman be made continuous in the speech and the actions
of the life without music? She remembered a man she had known who
stammered when he spoke, but never stammered when he sang. And she
thought she resembled this man. Robin Pierce had always believed that
she could speak without the stammer even as she sang without it. She had
never cared to. She had trusted absolutely in her beauty. Now her trust
was shaken. She thought of the crutch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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