“Well, my dear doctor,” the patient went on, “I am in the same
condition, and the presence of the vision that persecutes me is so
painful and frightful, that my reason is totally helpless in controlling
the effects of my imagination, and I feel that I am dying from the
effects of an imaginary illness. My visions began two or three years
since. At first I found myself embarrassed from time to time by the
presence of a great cat, which appeared and disappeared I knew not how.
But at last the truth flashed across my mind, and I was compelled to
look upon the creature, not as an ordinary domestic animal, but as a
vision which had its origin in some derangement of the organs of sight
or in my imagination. I have no antipathy to cats, in fact I am rather
fond of them, so I endured the presence of my imaginary companion so
well that at last I treated the whole affair with indifference. But at
the end of several months the cat disappeared, and was replaced by a
spectre of greater importance, and whose exterior was, to say the least
of it, very imposing. It was neither more nor less than one of the high
officials of the House of Lords, in the full dress belonging to his
dignity.
“This personage, who was in court dress, with a bag-wig on his head, and
a sword by his side, his coat splendidly embroidered and his _chapeau
bras_ under his arm, glided along by my side like a shadow. Whether I
was in my own house or elsewhere, he mounted the stairs before me, as if
to announce my coming. Sometimes he seemed to mix with the company,
although it was evident that no one remarked his presence, and I was the
sole witness of the chimerical honours that this imaginary individual
seemed to render to me. This phantasy of my brain did not make a very
strong impression on me, although it made me conceive doubts as to the
state of my health, and the effects it would produce upon my reason.
“This second phase of my malady, like the first, also came to an end.
Some months after, the usher of the Upper House ceased showing himself,
and he was replaced by an apparition that was at once wearing to the
mind and terrible to the sight. It was a skeleton. Whether I was alone
or in company this frightful image of death never quitted me; it dogged
my footsteps and followed me everywhere, and seemed to be a shadow
inseparable from myself. It was in vain that I repeated to myself a
hundred times over that the vision was not real, and was only an
illusion of my senses. The reasoning of philosophy and my religious
principles, strong though they are, are powerless to triumph over the
influence that besets me, and I feel that I shall die a victim to this
cruel evil.”
“It seems then,” interrupted the doctor, “that this skeleton is always
before your eyes?”
“It is my evil fate to see it continually before me.”
“In which case it is at this moment visible to your eyes?”
“It is at present.”
“And in what part of the room do you imagine that you see it now?” asked
the doctor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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