Whether he acted in accordance with his temperament, little inclined to
dissimulate no matter how serious a case might be, whether the evidence
seemed to him glaring, or whether in his clear-sightedness he realised
that I was responsible, he hurled his opinion in my face, without
warning of any kind.
“She is lost.”
When one is accustomed only to conversations velvety with politeness
even if they are savage at bottom, such brutal statements are
disconcerting; one does not allow them or believe in them, one
considers them declamatory. In society no one is flat-footed, with love
or truth or death. One turns carefully aside from such lack of taste or
tactless language as the doctor’s.
Quite calmly I let him know my incredulity.
“Come, come, then, what is her trouble?” I asked.
“Her trouble? She hasn’t any.”
“What is the matter then?”
“If she had any, I should know how to treat her. I find nothing,
and I can do nothing. She has reached the end of her forces, she is
exhausted. Her heart and arteries do not perform their functions
properly. They may stop at any moment. In any case, they will not act
much longer. It is the same with her as with very old people sometimes;
the oil is dry, the wick is burned out.”
“At her age? You are joking, doctor.”
“At her age, yes, it is surprising. I have met similar cases among the
working people in the hospitals, from too early or badly cared-for
maternity, or from too long uninterrupted manual labour and lack of
hygiene.”
“But none of those things can be the case with Mme. Cernay.”
Before making his point definite, the doctor seemed to stop and
meditate.
“Moral suffering, continued unrest and complete lack of mental
repose, can produce a similar result,” he ended by telling me.
“The slow wasting away which one sometimes finds with unhappiness
requires a highly wrought sensibility. But that realm is closed to my
investigation.”
And, stopping short, he wrote a prescription; he advised the quiet of
the country, talked of the unexpected reserves of her youth, mitigated
at a rather late hour the severity of his verdict, promised to return,
and took his leave.
As soon as he had gone, my spirit began to rebel against him. His
inability to define Raymonde’s illness drove him to exaggerate it. He
was falling back on those old-fashioned methods that attribute all our
ills to internal rather than external causes. I sent a telegram after
him, asking him to call in consultation a certain specialist whose name
had been made famous by the enthusiasm of a social clientèle.
It was important to reassure Raymonde absolutely, I thought. Before
rejoining her, I considered some means to this end. We had been asked
to Mme. de Saunois’ that very evening: I would go, so that she might
not think I was hiding anything. Yet the hope of meeting Mme. de H--
there, was not that something hidden?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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