“It was so simple,” he declared, using Raymonde’s words. “There was
nothing to do but tell the truth.”
He pointed to the scattered sheets of a letter which he had not yet
sealed. He had been compelled to write to Mlle. Simone de R--, he told
me. Their engagement made at Rheims had been broken. He added:
“She too will understand, since it is the truth which I had no right
to conceal from her, and which will broaden her. Should she suffer a
little on my account, it is better so.”
His indifference, which for the moment shocked me, was after all like
that of a surgeon recognising the necessity of an operation.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
He looked at me, somewhat astonished by my question, and I discovered
at last on his face that transfiguration, by the like of which he
himself had been dazzled at his wife’s deathbed. A divine phenomenon
had taken place within him, a miracle of peace, a final choice: I can
think of nothing but a theological term to express my whole thought: a
state of grace. A monk who has taken eternal vows in the exaltation of
firm assurance must wear on his countenance a similar reflection of his
decision.
“Live,” he replied.
“Living” meant for him “accepting.”
A long silence followed, which he broke with these words, spoken more
for himself than for me:
“There is no horror in the death of those we love if it serves to make
us better. Do you not see that she was given to me for my improvement?
Oh, God! That I should have taken so long to see it! Since yesterday I
have drawn nearer to her; I am happy. She knew that nothing is finite,
especially a love like hers.”
The following day I left the Sleeping Woods. Raymond Cernay, henceforth
guided by unfailing memories, no longer needed my presence.
* * *
I read of his death one morning in the newspapers.
He had been found at nightfall the day before, in a field near the
seashore where he experimented with his aeroplane on his lonely
flights,--mangled, his shattered machine on top of him. No one, it was
at first supposed, had seen the accident, and consequently no details
could be learned.
I went to him at once. Admitted to the shed where his body had been
placed before the laying-out, I raised the sheet which covered him.
He was not disfigured. One could just make out above his right eye
a slight bruise. A fracture of the skull and a broken spine, only
natural, considering the weight of the motor, had caused his death. But
the face, spared by a curious chance, showed no sign of fear, and his
serenity was more impressive than any wounds.
On account of the mystery which surrounded his end, and recalling
that sorrowful evening when he had struggled against an impulse to
kill himself, I wondered if his fall had been voluntary. What he had
confided to me at the little lake, came back to me:
“One can not betray his machine, or allow false suspicion to fall upon
it. It may make a mistake, but the man that it carries--no--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account