The trees still retained their foliage, but the colours changed from
day to day, a marvel to behold. The leaves of the lindens became a pale
yellow, those of the oaks, at first a red copper, later that colour
of rust which they keep all winter, for they do not fall: shrivelled,
hardened, and curled up they cling to the branches until the new growth
comes in the spring and flings them down.
“They are like those feelings,” I said to Raymonde, “which remain in
the heart even after they are dead, and which only a new passion has
the power to drive away.”
Whenever I gave vent to such sentimental rubbish as this, the art of
which one acquires in society, she used to look me full in the face,
her astonished eyes seeming to discover in me some unknown abysses.
Why did I aim to dazzle her with such empty talk? I was thinking of
those faded memories which still occasionally obtruded themselves upon
my mind, and which, although they had not yet entirely gone, were
destined, under the influence of my love, to disappear only to be
reborn another day.
“None of my affections is dead,” she replied. “None will die before I
do.”
We were passing the Green Fountain, and we paused to give our horses
a drink from the basin. We saw the reflection of their heads mingle
in the calm water, and leaning forward, she unconsciously and I
intentionally, we saw our own heads come together and touch. Drawing
back I looked at Raymonde: she was blushing as if she had felt my lips,
although they had never yet touched her.
Two years before, more than two years since, it was, on the birthday of
spring, I had waylaid her there. I recalled the incident to her, and
asked her the reason of her fear.
“I did not expect you,” she said.
“Was I so dreadful?” I inquired.
“We must believe so, since I was afraid,” she answered, with her clear
laugh.
I should have been glad to have her assure me that even at that time
she had begun to love me, although nothing could have equalled the
charm that her ignorance of her own heart then possessed.
“Whom did you love before me?” I asked.
“Before you? My mother, and my father and all this besides,” she
answered, and stretched out her arms in a comprehensive gesture that
her little riding whip accentuated.
“All this?” I repeated, not grasping her meaning.
“Yes, the trees, the little pond that is down there, the orchards, the
meadows, and the whole sky that you see.”
I laughed as I listened to this catalogue.
“I am not jealous of them,” I said.
She looked about her at the forest, the luminous autumn forest which
had contributed to the awakening of her spirit, and murmured:
“You may well be, nevertheless.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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