The Workingman's Paradise: An Australian Labour NovelMiller, John
Philosophy
The Workingman's Paradise: An Australian Labour Novel
Miller, John
Australia -- Fiction; Working class -- Fiction
"I cannot," she cried, holding up her arms as if to ward him off. "I
cannot, Ned. You mustn't touch me. I cannot."
"Nellie!" he replied, bewildered. "What on earth is the matter?"
"I cannot," she cried again. "Ned, you know I can't."
"Can't what?" he asked, gradually understanding.
"I can't marry. I shall never marry. It's cruel to you, contemptible of
me, to be here. I forgot myself, Ned. Come along! It's madness to stay
here."
She turned on her heel and walked off sharply, taking the upper path. He
picked up his hat and hastily followed. There was nothing else to be
done. Overtaking her, he strode along by her side in a fury of mingled
rage, sorrow, anger and disappointment.
She paused at the corner of her street. As she did so bells far and near
began to strike midnight, the clock at the City Hall leading off with its
quarters. They had been gone an hour and a quarter. To both of them it
seemed like a year.
CHAPTER IV.
THE WHY OF THE WHIM.
Nellie stopped at the corner of her street, under the lamp-post. Ned
stopped by her side, fuming by now, biting his moustache, hardly able to
hold his tongue. Nellie looked at him a moment, sadly and sorrowfully.
The look of determination that made her mouth appear somewhat cruel was
on her whole face; but with it all she looked heart-broken.
"Ned," she begged. "Don't be angry with me. I can't. Indeed, I can't."
"Why not?" he demanded, boiling over. "If you wouldn't have had me at
first I wouldn't have blamed you. But you say you love me, or as good as
say, and then you fly off. Nellie! Nellie, darling! If you only knew how
for years I've dreamed of you. When I rode the horse's hoofs kept saying
'Nellie.' I used to watch the stars and think them like your eyes, and
the tall blue gum and think it wasn't as full of grace as you. Down by
the water just now I thought you wouldn't have me because I wasn't fit,
and I'm not, Nellie, I'm not, but when I thought it I felt like a lost
soul. And then, when I thought you loved me in spite of all, everything
seemed changed. I seemed to feel that I was a man again, a good man, fit
to live, and all that squatter government of ours could do, the worst
they could do, seemed a bit of a joke while you loved me. And----"
"Ned! Ned!" begged Nellie, who had put her hands over her face while he
was speaking. "Have pity on me! Can't you see? I'm not iron and I'm not
ice but I can't do as others do. I cannot. I will not."
"Why not?" he answered. "I will speak, Nellie. Do you----"
"Ned!" she interrupted, evidently forcing herself to speak. "It's no use.
I'll tell you why it's not."
"There can be no reason."
"There is a reason. Nobody knows but me. When I have said I would never
marry people think it is a whim. Perhaps it is, but I have a reason that I
thought never to tell anyone. I only tell you so that you may understand
and we may still be friends, true friends."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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