Blunt. Is the Devil in you to declare our Designs? [Aside. Feth. Mum, as close as a Jesuit. Beau. I admire your Courage, Sir, but one of them is so little, and so deform’d,’tis thought she is not capable of Marriage; and the other is so huge an overgrown Giant, no Man dares venture on her. Will. Prithee let’s go see ’em; what do they pay for going in? Feth. Pay—I’d have you to know they are Monsters of Quality. Shift. And not to be seen but by particular Favour of their Guardian, whom I am got acquainted with, from the Friendship I have with the Merchant where they lay. The Giant, Sir, is in love with me, the Dwarf with Ensign _Hunt_, and as we manage Matters we may prove lucky. Beau. And didst thou see the Show? the Elephant and the Mouse. Shift. Yes, and pleased them wondrously with News I brought ’em of a famous Mountebank who is coming to _Madrid_, here are his Bills—who amongst other his marvellous Cures, pretends to restore Mistakes in Nature, to new-mould a Face and Body tho never so misshapen, to 125 exact Proportion and Beauty. This News has made me gracious to the Ladies, and I am to bring ’em word of the Arrival of this famous Empirick, and to negotiate the Business of their Reformation. Will. And do they think to be restor’d to moderate sizes? Shift. Much pleas’d with the Hope, and are resolv’d to try at any Rate. Feth. Mum, Lieutenant—not too much of their Transformation; we shall have the Captain put in for a Share, and the Devil would not have him his Rival: _Ned_ and I are resolv’d to venture a Castfor ’em as they are—Hah, _Ned_. [_Will._ and _Beau._ read the Bill. Blunt. Yes, if there were any Hopes of your keeping a Secret. Feth. Nay, nay, _Ned_, the World knows I am a plaguy Fellow at your Secrets; that, and my Share of the Charge shall be my Part, for _Shift_ says the Guardian must be brib’d for Consent: Now the other Moiety of the Mony and the Speeches shall be thy part, for thou hast a pretty Knack that way. Now _Shift_ shall bring Matters neatly about, and we’ll pay him by the Day, or in gross, when we are married—hah, _Shift_. Shift. Sir, I shall be reasonable. Will. I am sure _Fetherfool_ and _Blunt_ have some wise Design upon these two Monsters—it must be so—and this Bill has put an extravagant Thought into my Head—hark ye, _Shift_. [Whispers to him. Blunt. The Devil’s in’t if this will not redeem my Reputation with the Captain, and give him to understand that all the Wit does not lie in the Family of the _Willmores_, but that this Noddle of mine can be fruitful too upon Occasion. Feth. Ay, and Lord, how we’ll domineer, _Ned_, hah—over _Willmore_ and the rest of the Renegade Officers, when we have married these Lady Monsters, hah, _Ned_. Blunt. —Then to return back to _Essex_ worth a Million. Feth. And I to _Croyden_— 126 Blunt. —Lolling in Coach and Six— Feth. —Be dub’d Right Worshipful— Blunt. And stand for Knight of the Shire.