The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous ProseLamb, Charles
General
The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous Prose
Lamb, Charles
English literature
This humour of mankind to deny personal comeliness to those with whose
moral attributes they are dissatisfied, is very strongly shewn in those
advertisements, which stare us in the face from the walls of every
street, and, with the tempting bait which they hang forth, stimulate at
once cupidity and an abstract love of justice in the breast of every
passing peruser; I mean, the advertisements offering rewards for the
apprehension of absconded culprits, strayed apprentices, bankrupts who
have conveyed away their effects, debtors that have run away from their
bail. I observe, that in exact proportion to the indignity with which
the prosecutor, who is commonly the framer of the advertisement,
conceives he has been treated, the personal pretensions of the fugitive
are denied, and his defects exaggerated.
A fellow, whose misdeeds have been directed against the public in
general, and in whose delinquency no individual shall feel himself
particularly interested, generally meets with fair usage. A coiner or a
smuggler shall get off tolerably well. His beauty, if he has any, is not
much underrated, his deformities are not much magnified. A run-away
apprentice, who excites perhaps the next least degree of spleen in his
prosecutor, generally escapes with a pair of bandy legs; if he has taken
any thing with him in his flight, a hitch in his gait is generally
superadded. A bankrupt, who has been guilty of withdrawing his effects,
if his case be not very atrocious, commonly meets with mild usage. But a
debtor who has left his bail in jeopardy, is sure to be described in
characters of unmingled deformity. Here the personal feelings of the
bail, which may be allowed to be somewhat poignant, are admitted to
interfere; and, as wrath and revenge commonly strike in the dark, the
colours are laid on with a grossness which I am convinced must often
defeat its own purpose. The fish that casts an inky cloud about him that
his enemies may not find him, cannot more obscure himself by that device
than the blackening representations of these angry advertisers must
inevitably serve to cloak and screen the persons of those who have
injured them from detection. I have before me at this moment one of
these bills, which runs thus:--
"FIFTY POUNDS REWARD.
"Run away from his bail, John Tomkins, formerly resident in
Princes-street, Soho, but lately of Clerkenwell. Whoever shall
apprehend, or cause to be apprehended and lodged in one of his
Majesty's jails, the said John Tomkins, shall receive the above
reward. He is a thickset, sturdy man, about five foot six inches
high, halts in his left leg, with a stoop in his gait, with coarse
red hair, nose short and cocked up, with little grey eyes, one of
them bears the effect of a blow which he has lately received, with
a pot belly, speaks with a thick and disagreeable voice, goes
shabbily drest, had on when he went away a greasy shag great coat
with rusty yellow buttons."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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