The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous ProseLamb, Charles
General
The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous Prose
Lamb, Charles
English literature
To revert to those bestowers of unmerited deformity, the framers of
advertisements for the apprehension of delinquents, a sincere desire of
promoting the ends of public justice induces me to address a word to
them on the best means of attaining those ends. I will endeavour to lay
down a few practical, or rather negative, rules for their use, for my
ambition extends no further than to arm them with cautions against the
self-defeating of their own purposes:--
1. Imprimis, then, Mr. Advertiser! If the culprit whom you are willing
to recover be one to whom in times past you have shewn kindness, and
been disposed to think kindly of him yourself, but he has deceived your
trust, and has run away, and left you with a load of debt to answer for
him,--sit down calmly, and endeavour to behold him through the
spectacles of memory rather than of present conceit. Image to yourself,
before you pen a tittle of his description, the same plausible,
good-looking man who took you in; and try to put away from your mind
every intrusion of that deceitful spectre which perpetually obtrudes
itself in the room of your former friend's known visage. It will do you
more credit to have been deceived by such a one; and depend upon it, the
traitor will convey to the eyes of the world in general much more of
that first idea which you formed (perhaps in part erroneous) of his
physiognomy, than of that frightful substitute which you have suffered
to creep in upon your mind and usurp upon it; a creature which has no
archetype except in your own brain.
2. If you be a master that have to advertise a runaway apprentice,
though the young dog's faults are known only to you, and no doubt his
conduct has been aggravating enough, do not presently set him down as
having crooked ancles. He may have a good pair of legs, and run away
notwithstanding. Indeed, the latter does rather seem to imply the
former.
3. If the unhappy person against whom your laudable vengeance is
directed be a thief, think that a thief may have a good nose, good eyes,
good ears. It is indispensable to his profession that he be possessed of
sagacity, foresight, vigilance; it is more than probable, then, that he
is endued with the bodily types or instruments of these qualities to
some tolerable degree of perfectness.
4. If petty larceny be his offence, I exhort you, do not confound
meanness of crime with diminutiveness of stature. These things have no
connection. I have known a tall man stoop to the basest action, a short
man aspire to the height of crime, a fair man be guilty of the foulest
actions, &c.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account