off the next moment, to carry their impertinences to the nearest student that they can call their friend, the tone of the book is spoiled; we shut the leaves, and, with Dante's lovers, read no more that day. It were well if the effect of intrusion were simply co-extensive with its presence; but it mars all the good hours afterwards. These scratches in appearance leave an orifice that closes not hastily. "It is a prostitution of the bravery of friendship," says worthy Bishop Taylor, "to spend it upon impertinent people, who are, it may be, loads to their families, but can never ease my loads." This is the secret of their gaddings, their visits, and morning calls. They too have homes, which are--no homes. XIII.--THAT YOU MUST LOVE ME, AND LOVE MY DOG "Good sir, or madam, as it may be--we most willingly embrace the offer of your friendship. We long have known your excellent qualities. We have wished to have you nearer to us; to hold you within the very innermost fold of our heart. We can have no reserve towards a person of your open and noble nature. The frankness of your humour suits us exactly. We have been long looking for such a friend. Quick--let us disburthen our troubles into each other's bosom--let us make our single joys shine by reduplication--But _yap, yap, yap!_--what is this confounded cur? he has fastened his tooth, which is none of the bluntest, just in the fleshy part of my leg." "It is my dog, sir. You must love him for my sake. Here, Test--Test--Test!" "But he has bitten me." "Ay, that he is apt to do, till you are better acquainted with him. I have had him three years. He never bites me." _Yap, yap, yap!_--"He is at it again." "Oh, sir, you must not kick him. He does not like to be kicked. I expect my dog to be treated with all the respect due to myself." "But do you always take him out with you, when you go a friendship-hunting?" "Invariably. 'Tis the sweetest, prettiest, best-conditioned animal. I call him my _test_--the touchstone by which I try a friend. No one can properly be said to love me, who does not love him." "Excuse us, dear sir--or madam aforesaid--if upon further consideration we are obliged to decline the otherwise invaluable offer of your friendship. We do not like dogs." "Mighty well, sir--you know the conditions--you may have worse offers. Come along, Test."