LANDLORD A natural thirst after knowledge you may call it, Sir. When a boy I was never easy, but when I was thrusting up the lids of some of my school-fellows' boxes,--not to steal any thing, upon my honour, Sir,--only to see what was in them; have had pens stuck in my eyes for peeping through key-holes after knowledge; could never see a cold pie with the legs dangling out at top, but my fingers were for lifting up the crust,--just to try if it were pigeon or partridge,--for no other reason in the world. Surely I think my passion for nuts was owing to the pleasure of cracking the shell to get at something concealed, more than to any delight I took in eating the kernel. In short, Sir, this appetite has grown with my growth. MR. H. You will certainly be hanged some day for peeping into some bureau or other, just to see what is in it. LANDLORD That is my fear, Sir. The thumps and kicks I have had for peering into parcels, and turning of letters inside out,--just for curiosity. The blankets I have been made to dance in for searching parish-registers for old ladies' ages,--just for curiosity! Once I was dragged through a horse-pond, only for peeping into a closet that had glass doors to it, while my Lady Bluegarters was undressing,--just for curiosity! MR. H. A very harmless piece of curiosity, truly; and now, Mr. Pry, first have the goodness to leave that box with me, and then do me the favour to carry your curiosity so far, as to enquire if my servants are within. LANDLORD I shall, Sir. Here, David, Jonathan,--I think I hear them coming,--shall make bold to leave you, Sir. [_Exit._] MR. H. Another tolerable specimen of the comforts of going anonymous! _Enter two Footmen._ FIRST FOOTMAN You speak first. SECOND FOOTMAN No, you had better speak. FIRST FOOTMAN You promised to begin. MR. H. They have something to say to me. The rascals want their wages raised, I suppose; there is always a favour to be asked when they come smiling. Well, poor rogues, service is but a hard bargain at the best. I think I must not be close with them. Well, David--well, Jonathan. FIRST FOOTMAN We have served your honour faithfully---- SECOND FOOTMAN Hope your honour won't take offence---- MR. H. The old story, I suppose--wages? FIRST FOOTMAN That's not it, your honour. SECOND FOOTMAN You speak. FIRST FOOTMAN But if your honour would just be pleased to---- SECOND FOOTMAN Only be pleased to---- MR. H. Be quick with what you have to say, for I am in haste. FIRST FOOTMAN Just to---- SECOND FOOTMAN Let us know who it is---- FIRST FOOTMAN Who it is we have the honour to serve. MR. H. Why me, me, me; you serve me. SECOND FOOTMAN Yes, Sir; but we do not know who you are. MR. H. Childish curiosity! do not you serve a rich master, a gay master, an indulgent master? FIRST FOOTMAN Ah, Sir! the figure you make is to us, your poor servants, the principal mortification.