The Works of Charles Lamb in Four Volumes, Volume 4Lamb, Charles
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The Works of Charles Lamb in Four Volumes, Volume 4
Lamb, Charles
English essays; English poetry; Short stories, English
Those few who did not desert me altogether were persons of strong but
coarse minds; and from the absence of all delicacy in them I suffered
almost as much as from the superabundance of a false species of it in
the others. Those who stuck by me were the jokers, who thought
themselves entitled by the fidelity which they had shown towards me
to use me with what familiarity they pleased. Many and unfeeling are
the jests that I have suffered from these rude (because faithful)
Achateses. As they passed me in the streets, one would nod
significantly to his companion and say, pointing to me, Smoke his
cravat, and ask me if I had got a wen, that I was so solicitous to
cover my neck. Another would inquire, What news from * * * Assizes?
(which you may guess, Mr. Editor, was the scene of my shame,) and
whether the sessions was like to prove a maiden one? A third would
offer to insure me from drowning. A fourth would tease me with
inquiries how I felt when I was swinging, whether I had not something
like a blue flame dancing before my eyes? A fifth took a fancy never
to call me anything but _Lazarus_. And an eminent bookseller and
publisher,--who, in his zeal to present the public with new facts,
had he lived in those days, I am confident, would not have scrupled
waiting upon the person himself last mentioned, at the most critical
period of his existence, to solicit a _few facts relative to
resuscitation_,--had the modesty to offer me--guineas per sheet, if I
would write, in his magazine, a physiological account of my feelings
upon coming to myself.
But these were evils which a moderate fortitude might have enabled me
to struggle with. Alas! Mr. Editor, the women,--whose good graces I
had always most assiduously cultivated, from whose softer minds I had
hoped a more delicate and generous sympathy than I found in the
men,--the women began to shun me--this was the unkindest blow of all.
But is it to be wondered at? How couldst thou imagine, wretchedest of
beings, that that tender creature Seraphina would fling her pretty
arms about that neck which previous circumstances had rendered
infamous? That she would put up with the refuse of the rope, the
leavings of the cord? Or that any analogy could subsist between the
knot which binds true lovers, and the knot which ties malefactors?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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