whose proper burying-ground he was now going for interment.) All which when I behelde, hardly I refrained from weeping, and incontinently I fell to musing: "If this man had been rich, a _Croesus_, a _Crassus_, _or as rich as Whittington_, what pompe, charge, lavish cost, expenditure, of rich buriall, _ceremoniall-obsequies_, _obsequious ceremonies_, had been thought too good for such an one; what store of panegyricks, elogies, funeral orations, &c., some beggarly poetaster, worthy to be beaten for his ill rimes, crying him up, hee was rich, generous, bountiful, polite, learned, a _Mæcenas_, while as in very deede he was nothing lesse: what weeping, sighing, sorrowing, honing, complaining, kinsmen, friends, relatives, fourtieth cousins, poor relatives, lamenting for the deceased; hypocriticall heirs, sobbing, striking their breasts (they care not if he had died a year ago); so many clients, dependants, flatterers, _parasites, cunning Gnathoes_, tramping on foot after the hearse, all their care is, who shall stand fairest with the successour; he mean time (like enough) spurns them from him, spits at them, treads them under his foot, will have nought to do with any such cattle. I think him in the right: _Hoec sunt majora gravitate Heracliti. These follies are enough to give crying Heraclitus a fit of the spleene._" MR. H----. A FARCE, IN TWO ACTS. AS IT WAS PERFORMED AT DRURY LANE THEATRE, DECEMBER, 1806. * * * * * "Mr. H----, thou wert DAMNED. Bright shone the morning on the play-bills that announced thy appearance, and the streets were filled with the buzz of persons asking one another if they would go to see Mr. H----, and answering that they would certainly; but before night the gaiety, not of the author, but of his friends and the town, was eclipsed, for thou wert DAMNED! Hadst thou been anonymous, thou haply mightst have lived. Bet thou didst come to an untimely end for thy tricks, and for want of a better name to pass them off--" _Theatrical Examiner_. * * * * * CHARACTERS. Mr. H---- _Mr. Elliston_. BELVIL _Mr. Bartley_. LANDLORD PRY _Mr. Wewitzer_. MELESINDA _Miss Mellon_. MAID TO MELESINDA _Mrs. Harlowe_. Gentlemen, Ladies, Waiters, Servants, &c. _Scene_--BATH. PROLOGUE, SPOKEN BY MR. ELLISTON.