_Enter_ LANDLORD. _Mr. H._ Landlord, I must pack up tonight; you will see all my things got ready. _Landlord._ Hope your Honor does not intend to quit the Blue Boar,--sorry anything has happened. _Mr. H._ He has heard it all. _Landlord._ Your Honor has had some mortification to be sure, as a man may say; you have brought your pigs to a fine market. _Mr. H._ Pigs! _Landlord._ What then? take old Pry's advice, and never mind it. Don't scorch your crackling for 'em, Sir. _Mr. H._ Scorch my crackling! a queer phrase; but I suppose he don't mean to affront me. _Landlord._ What is done can't be undone; you can't make a silken purse out of a sow's ear. _Mr. H._ As you say, Landlord, thinking of a thing does but augment it. _Landlord._ Does but _hogment_ it, indeed, Sir. _Mr. H. Hogment_ it! damn it, I said augment it. _Landlord._ Lord, Sir, 'tis not everybody has such gift of fine phrases as your Honor, that can lard his discourse-- _Mr. H._ Lard! _Landlord._ Suppose they do smoke you-- _Mr. H._ Smoke me! _Landlord._ One of my phrases; never mind my words, Sir, my meaning is good. We all mean the same thing, only you express yourself one way, and I another, that's all. The meaning's the same; it is all pork. _Mr. H._ That's another of your phrases, I presume. [_Bell rings, and the Landlord called for._ _Landlord._ Anon, anon. _Mr. H._ Oh, I wish I were anonymous. [_Exeunt several ways._ SCENE.--_Melesinda's Apartment._ MELESINDA _and Maid._ _Maid._ Lord, Madam! before I'd take on as you do about a foolish--what signifies a name? Hogs--Hogs--what is it--is just as good as any other, for what I see. _Melesinda._ Ignorant creature! yet she is perhaps blest in the absence of those ideas, which, while they add a zest to the few pleasures which fall to the lot of superior natures to enjoy, doubly edge the---- _Maid._ Superior natures! a fig! If he's hog by name, he's not hog by nature, that don't follow--his name don't make him anything, does it? He don't grunt the more for it, nor squeak, that ever I hear; he likes his victuals out of a plate, as other Christians do; you never see him go to the trough---- _Melesinda._ Unfeeling wretch! yet possibly her intentions---- _Maid._ For instance, Madam, my name is Finch--Betty Finch. I don't whistle the more for that, nor long after canary-seed while I can get good wholesome mutton--no, nor you can't catch me by throwing salt on my tail. If you come to that, hadn't I a young man used to come after me, they said courted me--his name was Lion, Francis Lion, a tailor; but though he was fond enough of me, for all that he never offered to eat me. _Melesinda._ How fortunate that the discovery has been made before it was too late! Had I listened to his deceits, and, as the perfidious man had almost persuaded me, precipitated myself into an inextricable engagement before----